The World Through the Eyes of an Agent
by JoNeZiE
Summary: BAU Agent Emily Prentiss looks at the world differently. She may seem cool and calm, but her day-to-day life is even more dramatic than getting shot at at work. Full of sarcastic remarks, read how Prentiss handles random but always funny situations.
1. Elevator Music and Annoying CoWorkers

**I do NOT own Criminal Minds or any characters (except the ones I make)**

**This is my first Fanfiction and I know it is kinda pointless, but what the heck. The world could use some laughs right now. Feel free to review. Give ideas. I would really appreciate anything. -Jonezie**

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Chapter One:

"BEEP BEEP BEE" "BANG"

"Arg. Why is it sooo early? Damn alarm clock. Won't be ringing any time soon, now will you? Oh great. It is way too early from me to be talking to myself or nonliving objects." Special Agent Emily Prentiss stated as she groggily sat up in her bed.

"We just got back last night, and that case was really exhausting. Now I need to buy a new alarm clock. I'll just do it after work." _If there are any stores open that late. Who am I kidding, we're in D.C. stores hardly ever close._ Emily stands up and stretches. Wincing when her back cracks she slowly moves towards the bathroom to get ready.

The last case was in Louisiana and it was bad. Five bodies and no leads is when the local police decided to call the BAU team in. They ended up catching the guy after two more victims. In the process, Emily got a slight concussion and bruises along her ribs. She had a run in with the unsub at the local hotel. He was freaking out and in the midst of a psychotic break. She managed to call the team and he ended up being arrested not only for murder charges but also assaulting a federal agent. Emily had used a martial arts move she learned a while ago and flipped the unsub when he thought he broke her ribs.

Now Emily was ready for work. She hopped in her car and drove to the Bureau. She wasn't exactly excited to go to work and watch everyone look at her like she had just been attacked out of nowhere. She hated the pity they gave her or the guilt some of her team had.

"That's what I get for letting Morgan talk me into going to the bar right before that case. That hangover was killer. Ha, no pun intended. Wow… I really need to start dating. People would look at me like I was insane if they saw me having a conversation with myself."

Finally arriving at her 'office' so to speak, she grabbed her bag and opened the doors. _Eight o'clock. Good. No one usually arrives until eight-thirty. That gives me a little while before I have to bite back all my smart-ass remarks._ She pushed the up button on the elevator, slightly shifting from one foot to the other. She was impatient to get this day over with. Tomorrow was 'suppose' to be a day off. But it seemed like that was always when they were called away. Never _really getting a day off._ She let out a heavy sigh.

"Ding" She stepped into the elevator. Immediately her body language changed. Her shoulders stiffened and breath hitched. _What? Not again! Why? Why this elevator?_

The doors to the elevator closed, trapping her in the small room. Alone. Emily became increasingly agitated. The ride up to their floor seemed to last forever. By the time she reached it she was fuming with irritation. As she walked through the glass doors she couldn't believe who she saw.

"Garcia? What are you doing here?" Emily was totally caught off guard by seeing Garcia into work early. Is she sick? Man issues?

"Well sweet muffin, I do work here too. Why so angry sugar plum?" Garcia laughed at her obviously irritated friend.

"I'm not angry! Just agitated. How did you know anyway? And what I meant was, why are you here so darn early?" Emily said as she made her way to her desk. Garcia was following her and smiling at Emily's irritation.

"Starting the morning with an interigation Agent Prentiss. You know just how to greet a girl. I can tell because I'm the all-knowing goddess, remember?" Garcia stated matter-of-factly. "I'm here early because they were doing renovations to my office last night, so I hardly got any work done! The nerve of them taking over MY office and expecting ME to work around THEM! Just because those workers were man hunks does not mean they can disrupt me or my babies."

Emily was now sitting on her desk. Completely relaxed because of her friend's little rant about her 'babies' and she couldn't really believe that they made her work around them. That was a total suicide mission. "Well did they get your office fixed up all nice and fluffy, just like you like it?"

Emily received a mocked glare. "Yes, they finished. I think my threats of erasing their cyber life finally made them move their lazy ass! What about you? You sleep well last night?" Garcia asked with genuine concern. Way more than was needed.

"What did I tell you? Huh? I'm perfectly fine. I've been hit in the head before. Actually a lot, so no need to worry. Eventually though I might get wise and wear a helmet. Look at the time, the rest of the team will be here at any moment." Emily said, hoping Garcia wouldn't ask her why she was mad this morning. Especially not in front of the team. If Morgan or JJ catch a whiff of any gossip they will not drop it.

As if on cue, JJ, Morgan, and Reid all walk off the elevator, joking about something. As they came through the glass doors they saw Garcia and Emily talking by Emily's desk.

"Hey hot-stuff, I didn't know you delivered. What are you two talking about? Anything good?" Morgan greeted Garcia and asked them. He raised his eyebrows and gave a seductive smirk.

"You know this, that, and Prentiss was just going to enlighten me why she was furious after she got here. Right Em?" Garcia asked feigning innocence.

"Oooh, so what's up? Boyfriend? Cat? What could possibly make the impenetrable Agent Prentiss show anger?" JJ teased her.

"Ha, ha. And Cat… Really? I don't have a cat." Emily said as she tried to look very busy with an unknown file in her hand.

"Someone is avoiding the subject. What is it?" Morgan asked, now slightly concerned that she was having nightmares of what happened. He suddenly felt guilty.

"Nothing! You guys would laugh…" She mumbled.

"Please, please, please, with sprinkles and wine on top?" Garcia cooed.

"Fine. Did you guys notice anything strange about the elevator this morning?" Emily asked, still unsure.

They all shook their heads. They all looked the same: confused.

"Well they added that Damn music to it again. The same little tune. Do you guys have any idea how hard I had to work to get that stupid elevator music removed?!? And they just put it back in. It is the worst way to start your day. You walk into the elevator and BAM. DooDooDo Doo Da Dadoo Da dee dada doo. How could you guys not notice it!" Emily was in a full blown rant.

JJ, Garcia, Morgan, and even the quiet Reid start doubling over in laughter. JJ and Morgan were on the floor crying from laughing so hard, Garcia was sitting on a chair with her mascara running from laughing and crying, and even Dr. Reid was laughing so hard that the only thing keeping him from lying on the floor was the desk he was sitting on.

Emily looked at them shocked by their reactions. _This is a serious matter! How could they even think that this is funny?_ She was just standing there in the middle of their laughing and she started shaking her head.

"Em… It's just… It's just. Ha, ha. You look so serious!" Garcia choked out, trying desperately to control her laughter. She was failing miserably.

"Hey! I am serious!!! I can't believe I actually told you!" She scoffed. _Well I guess getting all worked up about the elevator this early in the morning was kinda pointless. Great. I hope Hotch and Rossi don't hear about this._ Just as she thought that the two agents walked into the office. Rossi and Hotch both had serious faces on and that could only mean one thing.

_This is going to be a long day. _


	2. Coffee Crisis

**Thanks so much for reading the first chapter. I hope you like this one. I don't really plan these things out, I just kinda go where ever my mind takes me. Thanks alot for all of you who gave me Reviews. I don't usually stay on top of typing stories so any encouragement is greatly appreciated!!! Hope you like this Chapter but even if you don't, I'd still like to hear wat you thought. Thanks. -Jonezie**

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Emily sat down to work on the enormous stack of reports she had to do. Glancing over at Morgan and Reid, who were arguing about Morgan slipping reports onto Reid's desk. _Boys._ Emily thought as she rolled her eyes at them.

After Hotch and Rossi had come, the little morning chatter finally dispersed. Garcia told Prentiss that maybe she should take the stairs tonight and Emily just glared at her, not amused. JJ said something about her overflowing desk and walked away. And finally Emily, Morgan, and Reid sat down to do their work. In reality, Emily was the only one actually working.

JJ rushed over to the Hotch's office, but before entering she slightly shouted, to be heard over the squabbling duo, "Bullpen in 10. Don't be late. This one doesn't look good." With that she left to talk to Hotch.

"That sounds bad." Morgan mumbled as he gather his files into their respective piles and walked towards the bullpen, Reid close on his heels.

_Great. I can see the future. This is going to be a bad day._ _Guess I'll tell Rossi._ Emily straightened up her desk and walked over to the senior agent's office. Maybe this case won't be too bad. She knocked on the door.

"Come in." She heard Rossi say, so she pushed the door open.

"JJ said we have to be in the bullpen in 10. So you know that that really means we need to be there in 3 minutes…." She said as she saw him looking on his computer. _I didn't even know he knew how to work a computer. Hmm. Maybe I should give him some credit._

"Hey Prentiss, can you ask Garcia to check this thing out? It's saying something about an update I need to do. But I just want to get to my documents. Any idea?" He asked with a little hopeful hint in his voice.

"Nooo way. I'm not allowed to touch one of those things after the last time. And that is one of Garcia's rules I am afraid to break. She would wipe out my credit history in a second. I will ask her for you though." Emily added as she had one foot out the door. She didn't really like talking about computers, especially because Rossi always seem to ask her about things she had no clue about.

Emily walked over to the bullpen and saw Rossi trail behind her. As she opened the door she saw everyone sitting and waiting. Well _this is kind of awkward._ She let out a nervous little chuckle as she saw them all staring at her. _Note to self: Make Reid get Rossi next time._ She quickly made her way to an open chair.

Rossi walked in and sat down. Then JJ let out an annoyed sigh. I bet she is thinking how everyone is sooo slow. Yeah well not all of us drink a gallon of coffee every morning. She started to remember the day she suggested that JJ switch to tea. _That was a bad day too. Almost lost my hearing from JJ ranting about my 'absurd' idea and active imagination. Me, really?_ When she came out of her trance she heard JJ let out a very low growl.

"Did you hear me at all Prentiss?" JJ said through clenched teeth.

_Not a good sign. Very bad to piss off JJ._ Emily looked around the table nervously. _Oh no! She doesn't have coffee in hand or on the table. She-She-She is out of COFFEE!!! WHAT DO I DO??? _

"Of course JJ. I was just thinking about the profile, you know…" Emily tried to make a cover story quickly.

"Really? Considering that I haven't said anything about the case, and you already have a profile?" JJ said very agitated.

"No I just noticed that you don't have your coffee and was thinking of what coffee you like. I think it is um black coffee, mint flavor with a touch of vanilla that you like right? That sounds 'bout right. I'll just pick some up when we're done." Emily said as fast as she could. If you give an angry bear honey, they should go back to sleep. I hope.

"Oh. Thanks. You noticed huh? Okay this is Colorado, four girls died in two weeks. First died two weeks ago, second one week ago, and third was just three days ago." JJ said, seemingly more relaxed at the prospect of having her favorite coffee coursing through her veins soon.

Rossi looked over at Emily, amused at the profiler's quick thinking to get her out of one hell of a bad situation. Hotch even seemed impressed at Emily's way of getting JJ back in a somewhat less irritated mood. Emily smiled, _Not even Hotch is brave enough to agitate a hungry bear… or thirsty, either way._ They all started to pay attention to the case.

"Doubling the time between kills. That means that he is going to be killing again, and very soon." Morgan put in.

"How were they killed JJ?" Reid asked. _Probably thinking of the statistics for deaths or how the killer could have done it_, Emily thought.

"Knife. Slashed throat." JJ said grimly.

"Wheels up in 30. Let's catch this guy and come home." Hotch stated with his emotionless voice. He got up and went to get his ready bag. Rossi followed him and JJ and Reid were close behind.

"Prentiss I'll give you a ride if you want?" Morgan offered.

"Nope. I need to make an emergency run to the coffee shop down the block and pray that they have JJ's coffee." Emily stated with a rather pleading voice_. If I don't get that coffee to JJ soon. We are all screwed. Hey I just made that sound like an apocalyptic event. Aye, close enough right?_

Emily picked up her bag and started heading towards the elevator. _On second thought I'll take the stairs._ She headed down the stairs but not after hearing Hotch say to Rossi "She have a sudden fear of elevators or something?" She could just picture Rossi shrugging his shoulders. _Stupid elevator music._

She got down to the parking lot on the basement floor and searched for her car. After hopping in her car, she sped out the lot and down the block. I need to hurry if I want to make the plane.

Emily pulled into a parking space five minutes later. Stupid old lady! Geez, she took FOREVER at that crosswalk. Having a cane is no reason to be lazy. She opened her door and rushed inside the shop.

"Let's see. Let's see. Oh Okay." She found what JJ likes to drink on the menu and stepped up to order. The cash register person was a boy about 17 and looked like a high school dropout.

"Yes. I would like a large, black coffee, with mint and a touch of vanilla. Thank you." Emily said it very clearly. _I hate it when they read it back wrong._

"Ya, miss. Two medium, black coffees, with no mint but some vanilla." The boy said, obviously only half listening.

"No. I said ONE LARGE black coffee, WITH mint and a touch of vanilla." Emily said enunciating the words he got wrong.

"That is what I said ma'am. One large black coffee, with mint and no vanilla." He said again this time looking up at Emily.

"I want vanilla." Emily said a little irritated.

"Well ma'am if you wanted vanilla then why did you say 'no vanilla'?"

"I didn't say NO vanilla, I said a touch of vanilla." She growled. _This sucks. Why can't he just listen the first time._

"I'm just trying to take your order ma'am, no need to take out your frustration on me. One large black coffee, with mint and a touch of vanilla." He said smugly. "That will be $6.57."

"Fine." She said. _This will teach him to be a little more concerned about his customers._ She pulled out her F.B.I. badge and set it on the counter as she grabbed out her wallet. She saw the kid's eyes go wide and he straightened up his back. _Good. Little jerkoff next time I'll just complain but this time I'll let you off with a warning._ She paid him and put her wallet and badge back into her pockets.

"Thank you ma'am. Is there anything else I can get you?" He asked very politely as he handed her the coffee.

"No thank you." She said with a smirk and walked out to the car.

_What?!? I only got 10 minutes and if I'm late Hotch will have my head! _She rushed to the car.

5 minutes later she had already parked and was walking on the plane. She spotted everyone sitting and waiting. _This seems to be a regular thing today._ She saw JJ sitting down looking over a file.

"JJ, I got you your coffee." At the sound of the word coffee, JJ snapped her head up and looked at the cup Prentiss was holding. A mischievous smile curled up on her face. Should I be relieved or scared out of my freaking mind? She gave the coffee to JJ and sat down, never taking her eyes off the younger woman, who had taken the cup in two hands and started to drink it like it was the only water she had after being trapped in the desert for a week.

"Alright everyone. The jet is taking off now." Rossi said as he moved to sit by Reid. _No doubt they are going to be talking about some weird nerdy thing._ Emily let out a sigh.

"Hey Em, how'd you get the coffee so quick?" JJ asked.

_WooFREAKINGhoo!!! Why do I have a feeling this plane ride is going to consist of me making an idiot of myself?_

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**Well that's the conclusing of this chapter. Up next... The plane ride to Colorado! Yeah. This will be filled with conversations on totally random but halarious topics. You can give me some ideas if you want.-Jonezie**


	3. Plane Rides Really Suck

**Well I kind of had this buzzing around in my head so I had to write it down. I really enjoyed the reviews and to be honest I probably would have stopped without them. I am more motivated when I know that someone is actually reading these. For all of you that love to laugh and well if you don't love to laugh then why did you even read a humor story? Wait back up, I'm off topic. This is for you all that enjoy my humor and encourage me to continue. Thank you. -Jonezie**

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Emily sat down and just looked at JJ for a moment. _Should I tell her what really happened at the coffee shop or make up some joke about it. Mmmm… Joke it is._

"Well JJ, you see, I decided that I would use my superpowers to teleport to the coffee shop and then here. It was a perfect plan, really." Emily said like it was something she did every day. _I love it when she does that little pause thing and actually thinks about what I say. Hehe._ Emily watched JJ.

Sure enough, JJ tilted her head to the side and scrunched her eyebrows in deep concentration. Staring at Emily for a few seconds she looked like she was actually debating on believing that Emily had some sort of superpower.

"Ha, ha. I don't care, I'm just so happy to have some caffeine in my system. Ohh sweet, sweet coffee. You missed me didn't you?" JJ said as she stared down at the rather large cup.

"Not really. I mean sure JJ we're good friends and all, but come on… I just drove to the coffee shop." Emily said. _What is wrong with her? Maybe she is sick or something. Second Note to Self: Keep an eye on JJ. _Emily thought as she was still looking at the file JJ passed out to everyone.

"No Em. I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to… er, um, never mind." JJ said, deciding not to pry the focused profiler from her work. JJ went back to sipping on her half empty coffee. Sighing deeply as she inhaled the strong scent of coffee throughout the air.

Emily decided to check to see how long they were in the air for. Looking at her phone she noticed it had only been 10 minutes. Impossible, it seems like it's been forever. This case hardly has anything in the files. We can only really start when we see the actual crime scenes. Emily put the file down, utterly defeated.

"What's wrong Prentiss? You look like you had a long night. Was it a long night? Hmm?" Morgan accused, eyebrows raised and a devilish grin plastered on his face.

"You know it! I had one hell of a long night. Full of action and adventure. Ahh, all in a day's work." Emily said, trying to make Morgan just give up and go back to annoying Hotch. _Hotch it's not that I have anything against you, really I don't, but seriously when Morgan is in his 'Everyone's got a dirty secret and I'm going to find it' mood, I would rather NOT be the target._

Sadly this idea backfired and it just made Morgan more interested. "So what was his name? You seem rather uptight, is he really that bad?" Morgan questions were sincere but totally not appropriate. Hotch just smiled happy that Morgan was leaving him alone for a while.

"Morgan, in a way I wasn't lying, but I wasn't dating a guy." As soon as Emily said that she knew what Morgan was thinking. _Damn it! He's gonna think…_

"Well, I don't judge. Whatever floats your boat. So how was she?" Morgan asked his voice raising a notch with his excitement. This cause lots of attention. Soon she had everyone looking at her.

Emily was so irritated with herself; she actually smacked herself in the forehead. Rossi broke out laughing, while JJ tried to explain what Morgan meant by 'Whatever floats your boat.'

"No Derek. I meant I spent last night alone, at my condo. Geez, I sure know where your mind strays when you're all spaced out, now don't I?" Emily said as she realized that Morgan wasn't going to let this go.

"Fine let's just say that you weren't seeing anyone last night. Then what did you mean by 'full of action and adventure'?" Morgan asked skeptically. By this time even Hotch was leaning a little forward, awaiting Emily's response.

"I really didn't want to talk about last night." Emily looked around the jet hoping, in vein, to find someone to stick by her. When you don't want something to be found out, everyone wants to know. "Fine. Well you are all aware that we have been gone a lot lately." Emily said not really waiting for a response. "So when I got back I decided to make dinner. Well I took the milk out to make something and well when I poured it out, it was more like cottage cheese." Emily saw JJ and Reid both cringe.

"You guys know I'm not really a cook, so I just put it in a big bowl thinking that soured milk makes things bake better. Then I grabbed some flour, but the bag broke and it kind of got everywhere, except the bowl. Then I grabbed something that said it was butter but I don't know if it really was, and some leftovers from when you guys came over for New Years, and mixed them all together." Emily was remembering the catastrophe. _It was so white, the walls even the ceiling was white. And the leftovers: so green, and smelly._

"Prentiss, weren't those from like three weeks ago or something?" Hotch actually asked, his face was in a mix of disgust and amazement. He was wondering how someone so brilliant was so bad a cooking.

"Continue…" JJ said, completely engrossed into the story. Rossi chuckled at the fact that everyone, including him, had become so focused on Emily's whereabouts last night. Reid looked like he was just dying to give a statistic on the amount of bacteria that was probably in the food. Morgan's face had changed from his excitement in the prospect of Prentiss having a date, to the horror of the fact that he didn't even remember what they had at the New Year's party.

"Well, the mixture looked kind of funny so I decided to do the only smart thing." Emily stated, she was quite proud of herself for what she did.

"You threw it away." Reid stated in relief. He really couldn't think anyone would have survived whatever meal was produced from the ingredients.

"No. Should I have?" Emily asked, feeling totally embarrassed. _I was right, this did include me looking like a complete and total idiot._

Everyone shook their head indicating Yes.

"Well I figured that it just meant that I should bake them higher. You know, to kill the bacteria. But then it burn a little and the smoke detectors went off, so I had to grab a chair and turn them off. I fell off the chair." Emily said, realizing how terrible her night really was.

"The chair had wheels OKAY!" She half shouted as everyone looked at her in amazement. "Then I was covered in flour and the detectors were going off, and some scary green moosh looked like it was going to take over my kitchen, so went the phone rang I was extremely angry it was a solicitor. As soon as I heard my car insurance was expired I decided to start yelling at the guy in Arabic. After about half hour, I hung up with the guy and turned off the smoke alarms using the counter instead. Then I got a shower and went to bed." Emily finished.

Everyone just sat there waiting for Emily to continue. After about a minute Morgan decided to pipe up.

"Prentiss, what happened to the green thing?" Everyone nodded in agreement. They were all eager to learn what had become of the slightly scary supposed 'dinner.'

"What do you OH MY GOD!!!" All the color drained from Emily's face. _What have I done? What if someone eats that? How could I have forgotten to eat dinner? I didn't see it in the morning, did it move?_

Then Emily whipped out her cell phone and called her weekly maid, which strangely was going to clean her place this morning. She waited as the phone rang and rang. On the third ring someone picked up the phone.

"Miss Prentiss. I would like to inform you that I have disposed of that concoction you had made in the kitchen and cleaned the flour. I…" Out of nowhere she heard Maria, the maid, throw up. "I'm sorry ma'am. I remember you said you wanted to learn how to cook better and I promised you I would tell you with all honesty how it tastes. Well your, ummm, meal? Was it? Was awful. I have no idea how you could make something so abominable." In the background you could hear Maria again throwing up. "I think I'll take the rest of the day off, dear."

"Sorry." Emily hung up and held her head in shame. _How could I poison my maid? What kind of person am I?_

When she looked up, everyone was staring at her again. Creepy. It's like they know…

"Hey Prentiss, you might want to turn you speaker phone off." Morgan suggested, obviously trying to contain his laughter. All of a sudden the entire jet was full of laughter. Even Hotch had tears in his eyes from laughing you hard.

"Yeah, yeah." Emily slumped down as far as she could in her seat. Her face was red and getting redder every passing second of hearing them laugh_. I need to think of my career choices here. I am obviously psychic. Maybe I should just stop doing stupid things._

"No I'm entitled to doing whatever the hell stupid thing I feel like." Emily said not really noticing she said it out loud.

"Okay Prentiss, whatever you want. And trust me when I say, I don't think any of us want you to change. You brighten up our days." Morgan said with his trademark grin.

"Did I say that out loud? Well Morgan this is your fault anyways." Emily said defensively.

"Why is that?" Morgan was pretending to be hurt by the accusation.

"You wanted to know about my damn night!" Emily said over the laughing group, who just started laughing even harder. Hotch tried to control himself when the pilot said that they were landing soon.

"You two stop fighting." Hotch said as he straightened himself up. He still had a big grin on his face.

_That is rare for Hotch. I think I can count the times I've seen him smile on one hand._

"Yes Dad." Morgan and Emily said at the same time, causing them both to laugh when Hotch gave them a mocked glare.

The plane turned to land and everyone except Hotch and naturally Rossi fell out of their seats.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!"

Everyone turned and looked at JJ. Not two seconds ago laughing hysterically, but now looked like she was about to burst into tears. Lying three feet away from her, her coffee cup sat, unspilled.

"Look JJ, it didn't spill, see." Reid said trying to cheer JJ up.

"Spence! Your right." An eager JJ went to grab her coffee. Everyone in the room sighed in relief. _There was one thing to have a coffee craving JJ on the team, completely different to have an enraged homicidal JJ due to her coffee being prematurely disposed of. _

"Well that was close." Emily said, still on the ground. Getting up she looked out the window. Seeing that they needed to turn again so they could make the landing strip. "Hey JJ, maybe you should…"

It all happened so fast. The plane turned, JJ fell, and the coffee flew through the air. _Quite poetic huh?_ Then the cup burst open and landed all over the table. All the files were soaked.

"MY COFFEE!!! OMG!" JJ rushed to the table trying to salvage what was left.

"Shouldn't you be trying to save the files, not drops of some coffee?" Emily asked JJ. She received a deathly glare and physically shivered. _That is scarier than any freakin Bear!_ _She is like a killer ninja, with eyes that burn your soul. Okay, way too many cartoons at the hotels. _

The plane finally landed and the pilot stepped out. Looking at the profilers, he gave a warm smile. "Colorado. Hope you enjoyed the flight."

"Yeah it was just great. Just super-duper awesome." JJ seethed with sarcasm.

"She spilled her coffee. Coffee is her lifeline. Without it we would all die." Emily stated for the poor pilot.

"Why would we die?" He asked, genuinely confused. He too received a deadly glare.

"Because JJ would go crazy and kill anyone who would suggest different ideas." Emily hinted. This time she got a worried look from Hotch and a scared look from Reid.

"Like tea. Ahhh, I do love tea Miss Prentiss. I haven't drank coffee since I switched." He said happily and opened the door so they could leave. He was completely oblivious to the murderous look JJ gave him and Emily.

"Exactly like tea. Thank you for proving a point for- OW!" A sharp pain went through her leg. The pilot looked at her but didn't question further. He walked off the jet.

"What the hell JJ. Why did you kick me in the leg?" Emily asked, even though she knew the answer. _How the hell am I suppose to run from you now? _

"You know why Agent Prentiss." JJ stalked off the jet and to a SUV.

_I need to call Garcia and find the most expensive, closest, best damn coffee shop here. Or I just cut my life expectancy in half. Then I can focus on this case._

**That acutally turned out to be longer than I thought. And don't fear, Garcia is in the next Chapter I just was really rolling with this one and decided to have her rest for a chapter. The next chapter is about the start of the Colorado case and will be full of laughs as new officers and different witnesses and suspects get thrown into the mix of things. I might do the chapter tomorrow or if I'm really bored, later tonight. Thanks for reading and remember, I'm only writing these because people are actually reading them. YAY! It is nice to hear that others find this funny as well. Signing off for now... -Jonezie**


	4. Never Ride with Rossi and Reid

**This came to me totally out of the blue. If it isn't as funny that is because it is going to kind of set up for some other chapters. I have to thank those Reviews for giving me some ideas for humor and encouragement to roll with whatever my mind thinks is a good idea. I really enjoy reading the Reviews. Remember I want to know what you like and, sadly I know this happens at times, what you don't like. Remember, the Reviews are the only thing that really has me updating this much. So thanks! -Jonezie**

Emily started to walk towards one of the SUVs. _I think I'll defiantly avoid the one JJ's going in._ Emily decided to ride with Rossi and Reid.

"Shot-gun." Emily told Reid, with a big grin on her face.

"What? Fine. Statistics show that the passenger side…" Reid started, but soon realized Emily had already got in the vehicle. "Never mind!" Reid called after her.

Rossi naturally was the one driving. Reid finally slunk into the backseat while Emily was trying to find an acceptable radio station.

"You know classical music will be the only thing playing in this call." Rossi warned. _Damn I'm out numbered. Why did I ride with them again? Oh, right JJ, I hope Morgan doesn't suffer too much._ Emily sat deep in her seat as she heard Reid give off a happy cheer. _Well I guess this won't kill me. Well I really hope… I can see the headlines now: F.B.I. Agent Killed by Mozart. Not really how I want this case to go._

"Should have figured." Emily mumbled as she started to fumble around for her phone.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked. Emily just gave a small sigh as she realized that calling Garcia about the little plane fiasco won't be much fun.

"Calling Garcia. I need to find a damn good coffee place, and fast! Did you see JJ; she looks like she is ready to kill." Emily stated matter-of-factly to Reid.

"Well you're the one who turned her into a psycho. Don't you have any survival instincts? I just feel bad for the pilot. I mean he had no idea what was going on. You practically threw him under a bus." Rossi started lecturing her.

"No." Emily said as she looked out the window. Reid and Rossi just looked at her like she was insane.

"I would rather be hit by a bus than have JJ want to strangle me. The bus would hurt less… And I would probably have a better chance of surviving that." Emily said with a playful smirk. Rossi shook his head and Reid agreed with her.

As Emily flipped her phone open and searched for Garcia's number she heard Rossi swear under his breath. Okay, I know I might be asking for JJ to physically kill me, but seriously Rossi. That language is not meant for poor Reid's ears. He is too fragile. Emily started to vision Reid as a five year old, with ice cream in hand, and big glasses. Hearing Rossi swear again Emily turned toward him.

"What's wrong? If it's about the JJ thing, I swear I'm trying to fix that." Emily said flatly at the older agent.

"No Prentiss, look out the window." He said. Emily did so and the sight in front of her was shocking. They were at a standstill. Remembering that Hotch and the others had gone to the station and they were currently heading to the Hotel to check in, she knew they weren't going to be meeting up with the rest of the team any time soon.

Emily shook the shock off and turned to Rossi. "I'm going to help out. That looks bad and I have some experience with accide…" Just as she was about to get out and help the paramedics with the accident not a half a mile up the road, there was a screech of car tires and a loud crunch.

Emily looked around, everything was all blurry and she couldn't tell if she was still in the car. She tried to remember everything about what happened. _Okay, we were in the car. There was an accident. I was going to help, but before I got out there was some loud noise. Oh, no… You got to be freaking kidding me. Did we get hit by another flipping car? Are Reid and Rossi okay? _She tried you move but realized that she was still buckled to the seat. _Damn it. I can't move._ She tried to unbuckle it, but it was jammed.

"Rossi? Reid? Can you hear me? You guys okay?" Emily asked, trying to remain calm.

"Errg. Emily? Is that you? Yeah I'm fine. What about you? Rossi?" Reid slowly came too. She could tell that he was probably suffering from a concussion. He even seemed slur his words a little.

Emily shifted a little and was rewarded with a wave of pain in her side. _Wait one second. Did the car hit my side? The nerve of some idiot to hit my car, but my side? That jackoff is going to wish all I did to him was hit him with my car._ Emily let out an audible growl.

"Prentiss? Hey don't be too heartbroken. Okay? It's just a car. Nothing more. Reid? How are you doing? Anything broken?" Rossi asked trying to keep his cool and throw some jokes out to lighten the mood.

"It's not just that he hit the car, it's that he flipped it. How big must have been the other vehicle for it to flip us Reid?" Emily asked trying to block out the ever growing pain in her side.

"Big. I would have to say… most likely a truck or Semi. Hey Em, you sure you're okay?" Reid asked with growing concern as he realized she was being strangely less sarcastic about his statistics.

"One more question Reid. How long does it take for paramedics to respond to a car crash?" Emily asked him with a light chuckle. This caused Rossi and Reid to both look at her.

"Well let's get out of the car. Reid can you get out? Emily?" Rossi asked. He was worried by Prentiss' statement. He knew that they had to get out of the car. Just in case they get hit again, or the car exploded.

"Yeah I think I can-Ouch!" Reid yowled as he released his seatbelt and fell to the roof of the SUV.

"No dice Rossi. Seatbelt freakin jammed. My great freakin luck, huh?" Emily said.

"Okay well I'll just…" BANG! Rossi was free and he let out a low groan. "There. Let me get you out." Rossi climbed out his window and limped to the passenger's side.

"Rossi I'm going to call Hotch. I can see the paramedics trying to get down the road." Reid realized they had actually been pushed off the road and the SUV was flipped upside down in a grassy ditch. There were woods on the opposite side of the road. He looked around. "That's weird. I don't see the vehicle that could have hit us."

Back in the car, Rossi was trying to find something to cut the seatbelt with. He picked up a particularly large piece of broken glass. He began to cut the seatbelt.

"Prentiss be ready. The belt is about to break. Brace your…"SLAM! He had warned her too late.

"Damn it! Rossi what the hell? You just watched me fall!" Emily said as she dragged herself out of the car. Rossi gave her a hand and helped her up. _Why does my side hurt? Damn I think I broke some ribs. Grr… Where the frick is that damn driver?_ When Emily was up on her feet she felt herself start to sway.

"You alright? Where are you hurt?" Rossi asked in that fatherly tone he uses when he is worried.

"I'm fine. Just some broken ribs, I think." Emily said through clenched teeth. "Now where is that driver? I need to make sure he is okay." _Then kick his ass! _

Reid had Hotch on the phone. Obviously this wasn't going to be a very pleasant conversation. _Hotch always got so over protective. Now he is going to flip the lid. Now where is that driver?_ Emily started looking around.

"Don't worry about the driver. Reid said that he's not here anymore. We are so hunting him down." Rossi said, his eyes were set determined to get some sort of vengeance.

The paramedics came and made them all go to the hospital_. Great this freaking case sucks eggs! Wait, the case. This has to do something with the case!_ Emily was frustrated that they made her go to the hospital. _Hmm. I wonder…_

"Hey, since this isn't life threatening… Do you think I can ask a favor?" Emily said innocently. The guy smiled at her. _Good. This just might work._

"Could we stop for some good coffee?" Emily was still using her innocent tone. The paramedic gaped at her. _Not what I was hoping. I hope they don't make me get my head checked… again._ She gave him a warm smile.

"Well, I don't know…" He looked at her. _That's it, look into my eyes. You want to let me get coffee, you want to let me get coffee, you want to let me get coffee._ Emily mentally chanted.

"Sure. Where?" He said, a little defeated.

"Whatever is the best coffee shop close by." Emily said enthusiastically. _JJ will have to forgive me. I mean come on…_

"Hey Jeff let's stop for some coffee!" The guy shouted up to the driver.

"What?" He asked dumbly.

"Coffee. You know that thing you drink every morning. She wants some coffee." The 'guy' said it like it was something they usually do.

"Oh… Okay. Umm, how 'bout Zelchan Café?"

"How does that sound?" The 'guy' asked me. _He really thinks he is gonna get some, doesn't he._

"Great!" Emily said just happy that they fell for it. _I don't really care if we go to McDonalds for coffee. I just need to get some DAMN coffee!_

"We're here Donny. What do you guys want?" Jeff said. As he opened his door.

"I'll have whatever your having. What about you?" Donny asked. _This Donny guy is a real suck up._

"Large black coffee, with mint, and a touch of vanilla. Please make sure they get it right." Emily added, remembering her not too long ago experience with coffee shops. _If it isn't right, that will just top off my freakin day!_

Jeff left and about 15 awkward minutes later he was back. He handed out the coffees and noticed Emily didn't drink hers.

"What's wrong? Don't like it?" He asked a little shocked.

"No. I don't drink coffee. I just needed to pick it up for a friend. Are we ready to go?" Emily said nonchalantly. The two looked at her, their eyes wide with shock and a little frustration. _They must just now be realizing I played them. Well I played 'Donny' at least. All well. He deserved it, that creeper. He is still staring at me like I'm going to 'fall in love with him and he'll sweep me off my feet' look._ Emily shivered.

"Are you cold?" Donny asked his eyes hopeful. _No way pal._

"Nope not really. How long till we get there?" Emily smiled as the guy seemed to finally get the hint.

"We are here. You can just walk in if you want." The crestfallen Donny said. "Or…"

"I'll walk." Emily cut in, knowing he was going to suggest that he escort her to a room. _Creeper!_

"Okay." He let out an exaggerated sigh. Jeff opened the doors.

"Here you are ma'am." He handed Emily the coffee as he helped her out of the ambulance. He looked over at his heartbroken partner and laughed. "You're a heartbreaker Miss. Prentiss." He said with a big smile on his face, obviously finding the whole situation hilarious.

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment." She mumbled as she walked through the hospital doors. Surprised to find, yet again, the whole team waiting for her. _What the hell? How do they do that?_ She looked around.

"What took you so long?" Morgan immediately asked her. "Why aren't you on a stretcher? Didn't you have like, broken ribs or something?" He was very concerned.

Emily smiled at them and lifted the coffee to the sky a little. "Had to stop as Zelchan Café for coffee. Here you go JJ." Emily said with a big grin on her face, obviously impressed with herself. _Not many people buy coffee while in an ambulance. _

"You aren't joking." Hotch said in a state of shock. He knew she was reckless and hated being hurt, but that was just over the top. He watched as JJ took the coffee numbly. Morgan and JJ both looked like they had just seen someone jump off a building.

"Where the heck are those paramedics? Huh? I got to go kick their asses for stopping for coffee!" Morgan said, fuming with a strange protective rage.

"Why? I asked them to stop. And I'm not hurt that bad. How's Reid and Rossi?" Emily asked strangely calm.

"Their getting checked out by the doctor, like you should be doing." JJ said with a warm, but stern motherly glare_. I get you coffee and every time I get in trouble._

"Fine." Emily stalked away. _Worse day ever!!! Seriously!_ Over her shoulder she shouted. "I heard hot chocolate is better than coffee this time of year!" JJ gave her a shocked look and Morgan and Hotch were waiting for the hour long rant JJ was about to break into after that comment.

"Well I'm going to go check on Rossi." Hotch said quickly and started to walk away.

"I'm going to talk some sense into Prentiss. Hey JJ, you should see Reid. I'm sure he'll give you loads of information to prove Em wrong." Morgan said as he was already walking in the direction Emily had gone. He didn't want to stick around long enough to get wrapped up into JJ's rant. "Emily you sure know how we all tick. You probably know how to make each and every one of us insane." Morgan mumbled to himself as he looked for her room.

Emily sat on the seat thing the doctor told her to sit at. The doctor walked in and Emily knew right then and there that there was a logical reason for her deep hatred towards hospitals.

_This is going to suck!_

**I know I said Garcia was going to be in this one, but don't fear Garcia fans. I have some ideas bouncing around my heads about how her reaction to the crash and to... Well let's just say I have some more suprises in store for you. Don't worry the car crash isn't angst or tradety, just something to set up some further chapters. Remember to Review. That must be getting annoy... Me saying that a lot. But hey If I don't remind you how will you remember? Well great, know I'm rambling... I think I'll just sign off for a while. See Ya Later my friends and well anyone who is still reading this congrats on you patience. Really I am doing a round of applause for you unbelievable... Okay getting off track again. Bye -Jonezie!**

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	5. Hospital Horror

**Okay, I know I haven't updated in a while, but I was reallly reallly busy. I've been sick with pnemonia, so I missed a whole week of school. Then I only had three days left until semester finals. I had a lot of homework, but finally got everything done. YAY!!! Now here is the next chapter for all of those who waited ohh soo patiently, and I guess those of you who didn't wait so patiently can read too... JK. Everyone can read it!!! YAYYAY! Remember to review. That was the only thing that actually reminded me to type up this chapter.... So with out further a do (or not, hehe) here is the next chapter. "WOOOHOOO" "YAY" "GO JONEZIE" yeah, I know that's what you're all a thinkin. Sorry about my off track little tid bits. Here you are pacient ones (and not so pacient ones) CHAPTER 5!!! -Jonezie**

The doctor walked in the room and sat down. He looked exhausted and kept looking at the chart in his hands. Mumbling some gibberish to himself he got up and went to the fall wall from Emily. Yawning, he turned around and had a rather large needle in his hand.

"Well Ms. Vance, it looks like you need your monthly shot of medicine." The doctor started to walk towards Emily.

"What the hell? No freaking way I'm letting you shoot me up with some mystery meds!!! I'm not this Vance person either!" Emily started to panic. _It's one thing to give someone a shot to help them, a completely different thing to walk in their room, call them the wrong name, and then tell them that they have a monthly shot! It is either I'm in the wrong room, or I am really the last to know everything!_ She jumped off the seat thingy, but was slowed down by her aching ribs.

"Do I need to really ask for help Samantha? I don't want to have to call the security. Let's just get this over with." The doctor said quite annoyed. He started to come closer and closer.

"Hey Doc, I really think you're making a mistake!" Emily squeaked as she was now playing "catch me" around the exam table with the doctor. _This is soo not what I had in mind! _She barely dodged him as he chased her around the table.

"I'm not a doctor." He said. _What the fuck?_ "I'm just a med student. They said you would be an easy job; now please just stand… still." He grumbled as he tried to stick the shot in her arm, but yet again missed.

"What the…" Morgan stood in the doorway, wide eyed and confused. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked with a slight confused grin.

"Morgan! Tackle him!!! He is attacking me!" Emily blurted out before she could think of a better way to explain what was going on.

"Isn't he a doctor?" Morgan asked, not quite sure if he should listen to Emily.

"No he isn't. He is delusional!" Emily shouted as she barely dodged the 'fake doctor's' attack.

"Ms. Vance, my patience is running very low!" His voice started out as a whisper, then ended in a loud shout. He still didn't know that someone had walked in.

BANG!!!

Morgan was pinning the "doctor" to the floor. Emily let out a huge sigh of relief. The guy let out a painful moan. Suddenly two nurses and a doctor walked in after hearing the racket. It was a picture perfect moment: Emily panting from dodging a needle, Morgan pinning someone on the ground of a hospital floor, a doctor looking rather confused at the sight, the med student letting out little yelps (like a scared puppy), and two nurses quickly equipped with sedatives.

Then everything happened in a super speed manner. Morgan was knocked out on the floor, along with Prentiss across the room. The two nurses were helping the med student up and by that time Hotch had heard about there being a problem in the hospital and came to help.

"John… You're fired." The real doctor said it so low that everyone strained to hear her. She was in shock, staring at the scene in front of her.

"Wha… I was just attacked and I'M FIRED!!!" He was very angry at the turn of events. Hotch then walked in the room and the doctor looked at him with the most pathetic look he has ever seen.

"I'm sorry. He must have had the wrong room number. When I got here I was too late to stop the nurses from sedating them. My name is Dr. Lily Maple." She said in a low embarrassed voice. She shook her head at the nurses, who were just starting to understand the situation.

"What? Why are you apologizing to him? HUH? Why am I fired?" John said, his lack of sleep made him extremely irritable.

"Be…Because H-He is an F…B…I… AGENT!!!" One of the nurse screamed, then ran past everyone and through the door. The other nurse shrugged her shoulders and gave a sad grin.

"We just thought something bad was happening. So we didn't want anyone to get hurt. Sorry." The nurse said, shaking her head in shame. "Oh, don't worry about Lizzy. She is a little bit dramatic." The nurse giggled a little at the way Lizzy ran out of the room.

"Just get some people to help move them, Clara." Dr. Maple said with a long sigh. "John, leave. NOW!" She yelled at the dumbfounded student. He ran out of the room in such a hurry that he actually dropped the needle filled with medicine. Dr. Maple's eyes grew large when she saw the needle break and medicine spilled on the floor. "Agent Hotchner, I am sorry about the behavior. I swear we will have them set up in their own rooms until they wake up. No charge." She said and stepped back as two guys picked up the unconscious Agents and placed them on stretchers.

"Well… To be honest, nothing like this has ever happened before. So, can you make sure that you contact me when you think they might wake up. Here is my number." Hotch handed the number to the doctor and added, "Make sure you check her ribs. They might be broken." After that he walked out of the room rather stiffly, still flabbergasted by the events.

"Of course!" Dr. Maple called after him.

"Uoofffphf!" Emily grumbled as she got up. _Did I just fall out of bed? When did I go to sleep? Why do I feel like yogurt that was put in the microwave for too long?_ She looked around the room confused. Slowly starting to stand, she cringed. _My ribs hurt… Oh right, car accident. I really have to quit forgetting about that._

After standing up and doing the best she could to stretch, she walked over to the door. _Wait a second… Didn't that fake doctor guy try to inject me with drugs? OMG!!! Morgan!_ She opened the door and walked up to the first person she saw.

"Where is Agent Derek Morgan's room?" She said as fast as she could. Suddenly a wave of dizziness over took her. She started to stumble, but was caught by someone before she actually fell.

"Well looky here! You're awake Sunshine!" A happy voice exclaimed behind her. _That can only be one person… Garcia!_ Emily regained her balance and spun around.

"Morgan? What happened to him?" Emily asked frantically. _If those doctors did anything to him, I'll kick their asses!_ Garcia simply laughed at her.

"No 'Hello' or 'Nice to see you Garcia, so glad you came out' for me hmm?" She said, her voice trying to conceal a giggle. As she looked up at the profiler she noticed an ounce of fear. "How could someone that sees the worst the world has to offer, be afraid of hospitals?" She accused, laughing hard at the shade of red that set in on Emily's face.

"I'm NOT afraid, just worried. They could have done like brain surgery or something… Switched his brain with someone else's!" Emily started to get nervous at the thought of seeing her friend being a different person. _Morgan…if that is still your name._ She thought sadly.

Seeing the seriousness on Em's face, Garcia decided to add a little something to the fire. "Prentiss, they didn't do that to Morgan. You know that right?" Just as Garcia expected, Em gave a skeptical glare. "They did that to you. You seriously don't feel the stitches? They must have done a good job! Don't worry, Hotch stopped them before they could remove your brain though." Garcia said with her best straight face, but she could hardly contain her laughter.

Emily's eyes got extremely wide, looking a lot like an owl. Garcia was almost expecting the profiler to twist her head all the way around like an owl too. Emily started to feel her head, at that time Garcia started to believe that her always skeptical and sarcastic Emily, MUST have still been suffering from the effects of the sedatives.

"Em… Hello. I'm joking Em." Garcia was now concerned. Emily just started going over her memories. _Okay, joined BAU. Check. Went to F.B.I. training academy. Check. Moved around a lot when I was younger. Check. Terrible family relationship. Check. Okay everything is normal. I'll ask Hotch just to make sure though. I don't exactly think Garcia would tell me if I was forced into brain surgery by homicidal doctors. _

After about a minute or two Garcia started to fidget. It wasn't like she was nervous being around Emily, but she couldn't help but feel that she took the joke a little too seriously. "Ahem…" Garcia tried to get Emily's attention. "Er, Em. Let's go see Morgan. Okay?"

That snapped out her out of thought. _Yes! Morgan will know for sure about any brain surgeries._ "Good." And that was all she said as she followed Garcia to Morgan's room.

As they reached Morgan's room, Garcia turned to her. "Em, JJ is inside and please, please don't upset her again." Garcia was practically begging.

"What? Oh the coffee thing. Yeah, I don't think that is on the top of my list of problems today." Emily said absentmindedly.

As they walked in she looked around the room. Morgan was on the bed chatting with Hotch and… _wait how did Reid get here?_ Emily then saw JJ sitting in a chair sipping a, yup you guessed it, COFFEE!!!

JJ turned to look as Emily and Garcia entered the room, the boys were too absorbed in their conversation to look up. Garcia went to go talk to Morgan and figure out what they were talking about. Emily went and sat next to JJ.

"Hotch hasn't told us what happened in the doctor's room between you and Morgan. He said he wanted to "Wait until we were all together" to tell us. Rossi is coming back with Chinese food soon." JJ asked, extremely curious as to how her friends turned up worse after entering the hospital.

"Good. Um, JJ, do I have any, well, stitches on my head?" Emily asked nervously. Now JJ was super-duper curious about what happened.

"No. Why? Did you hit your head?" JJ inquired.

"No, not at all."Emily was a little more assured about not having brain surgery done. "It's just that hospitals make me a little paranoid."

"Anyone hungry?" Rossi exclaimed as he limped through the door.

"Starved." Reid and Morgan said at the same time. It was then that everyone noticed Emily was in the room. Rossi gave her a concerned smile. _They're acting like I was just brutally beaten by a hippo or something. _She shook her head to chase the image of a hippo chasing her around, out of her head. Everyone thought that that was a sign that whatever happened was bad, except for Hotch and Morgan.

Everything got real quiet and awkward.

"I'm not going to listen to you the next time you tell me to tackle someone in a hospital Prentiss." Morgan said to break the ice. And it worked.

"Hey! I would have tackled someone that was chasing you around with a big needle saying "Time for your monthly shot" for cheddar sake! He wasn't even a real doctor!" Emily defended. _True I would do the same for him or any of them_. Everyone looked lost except for Hotch, who was strangely smiling.

"You know that we both got that freaky sedative right? I've been you out of it that I think I asked Reid to marry me." Morgan said as he shivered. _Yes it would be funny to see Morgan on one knee proposing to a Dr. Reid. Haha._ Emily smiled at that comment.

"Hey Morgan, that reminds me… Can I ask you for a favor?" Emily asked suspiciously.

"Does it involve tackling?" Emily shook her head. "Okay, go ahead."

Emily leaned over so when she whispered, only Morgan could hear her. Everyone tried to hear what she was saying, but that was impossible.

"Did the doctors do any brain surgeries while we were out of it?" Emily whispered so low that she knew Derek was having a hard time hearing her. But as soon as she finished, he started laughing.

Everyone looked at the two: one completely serious Agent, that could pass as a statue right now, and a hysterical Agent, laughing his socks off, and gasping for air. Morgan wiped a tear away and looked at the stoic Agent Prentiss.

"Where did you hear this nonsense from?" He knew she had a fear of hospitals and normally refused any and all treatment. This was probably genuinely freaking her out.

"Garcia." She said in yet again an extremely soft voice. This time the others could make out what she said. They all looked at Garcia, except for Emily who found her shoes very interesting all of a sudden.

"Go figure." Morgan said.

"Care to explain to those of us that aren't in the loop?" JJ asked. Reid nodded in agreement.

Morgan told them how he came in and found Emily running away from the student and how he tackled the guy. Then after he explained about how they got into the sedative mess, he started to explain what Emily asked him.

"…then she told me it was Garcia that put that thought in her head." He finished staring Garcia straight in the eyes, but silently laughing.

"Go ahead." Emily said.

Simultaneously JJ, Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Garcia, and Morgan started laughing. After about a good ten minutes of straight laughing, they started to die down. Reid started to feel guilty about laughing at her, so he decided to cheer her up the only way he knew how.

"Statistically speaking, the percentage of people afraid of hospitals are…"

"I'm not afraid. I just don't like them." Emily growled.

"Okay there tiger, let's not get to worked up. JJ, maybe we should take her back to her room for the night." Garcia said, talking almost through Emily.

"No way am I staying here. First they mix me up with some person that was probably crazy, who knows what they'll do next!" Emily said desperately. "I'm going to the hotel."

No one dared argue with an angry Prentiss. She would put them all in the hospital, well not JJ or Garcia, maybe Reid_. He is kinda girly, probably wouldn't look good. _

"Fine, Em. If you're going to be stubborn, then let's go. I'll take you and we can get some rest. The others are either sleeping here or will go to the hotel later." She explained to Emily. Emily nodded.

They went to sign her out and as they did they met up with Emily's real doctor.

"I am sorry about before. My name is Dr. Lily Maple and I want you to know that you have two broken ribs." She said and was going to go on but Emily wouldn't have it.

"Whatever, Doc. I'm leaving… I already know the drill. Wrap them, be careful, yaada yaada." Emily waved her hand to show that she could easily go on with the procedures and warning the doctor was going to give.

After finally getting checked out, they walked to JJ's SUV. JJ looked over to a very sad Emily.

"What's wrong?" JJ couldn't help but ask.

"Mine got totaled. Rossi said that it didn't matter, but it was so great. I really felt like we had a bond." She answered as she looked up at the blonde.

"What Em?" JJ asked, fully focused on what was being said.

"My SUV." Emily said. JJ looked at her in disbelief.

_Well that sucked, but now I'm guessing that the check in might be worse… _

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**That was the chapter. I've noticed that they get longer as I go. Guess I'm just getting more into it. If there is a huge problem with that, well I really don't have anything to say... So... Awkward. That's Chap. 5 for ya. Chapter 6 is going to be about some funny stuff too, so don't cha miss it!!! Yeah, "Jonezie the ruler of lame, cheesy jokes." *cheers for self* What annoys me is that people call it "cute." Grrrr.... Call me butter cause I'm on a roll. TeHe {:P -Jonezie **

**P.S. Disclaimer: I do NOT own Criminal Minds. I just own my own little characters. Such as the staring Dr. Maple "Yay. You go doc" and the freaked out nurse Lizzy "You go Lizzy. Woot Woot. Not many can pull off running out of a room!" That was me making my character feel better. Doc isn't very convinced, but Lizzy is totally falling--I mean, er, ah, whatever, she is sooo falling for it!!! **

**Lizzy: Excuse me? Did you just make fun of Moi?**

**Jonezie: No**

**Lizzy: *giggle* Okay!!! Aww you're so cute!**

**Doc: I really wouldn't-**

**Jonzie: I AM NOT CUTE! I'M JUST CHEESY!**


	6. Crappy Hotels Always Suck

**Well here is my new chapter. I was kind of disappointed... Only one person said that they were happy that I started writing again. You know who you are. Thank you. And for those of you who didn't... Well thanks for still reading and reviewing. Okay so I made this poll to see if I'm allowed to add some cheesy lines to the story. Some people think it's corny and stuff... So vote and I'll do my best to make sure that I keep you guys happy with this story. This is kind of a filler between the hospital and the case. So enjoy and REVIEW!!! I love reading your guys' reviews. They give me some good ideas or just make me happy. So much easier to write this when I'm happy!! :0 I went there. Tehe...  
-Jonezie**

JJ unlocked the SUV and opened the driver's side door. Emily placed her bag in the back seat and got in the passenger's side. As JJ started the vehicle, Emily stared at her seat belt. As JJ was about to pull out of the parking space, Emily finally decided that having a staring contest with a seat belt would only mean humiliating defeat.

"You know what?" Emily asked as she put her seat belt on.

"What?" JJ asked as they turned onto the street in the direction of the hotel. She wasn't looking at Emily and couldn't see the look of deep concentration Emily had.

"I don't think the accident was really an 'accident'." Emily said, just loud enough that JJ didn't need to lean in to hear. That caught JJ's attention. She turned to face Emily and saw the weird look on the profiler's face.

"Why would you think that?" JJ asked with a little worry in her voice.

"The truck left… After hitting a vehicle containing F.B.I. Agents. I just don't see it as a very probable situation." Emily stated. Then Emily noticed something that escaped her when she first entered the SUV. In the background she could faintly hear Mozart playing. _What? It is all your fault. Great Emily, just great. Look at you, not only talking to yourself, but blaming a dead guy for a car crash._ She quickly changed the radio station.

"Hey? I liked that station." JJ said, in disbelief. Everyone knew that Emily didn't particularly hate Mozart. She didn't like it either. "If you have a head ache, I've got some Advil in the glove box."

"No I don't have a head ache. I just don't think I want to listen to that particular station." Emily mumbled, her face heating up.

"Why?" JJ's voice conveyed shock and frustration at the profiler's mysterious behavior.

"Well, right before the accident I was arguing with Rossi and Reid about listening to classical music. Then I thought how Mozart just 'couldn't kill me to listen for a while' but I think I was very close to being wrong." Emily said a little distant.

"Ironic." JJ stated firmly.

"Yeah, well I don't think that it was the dead guy's fault, I just don't want to take any… Er… chances." Emily was having trouble choosing the right words to say. Emily looked around the SUV. "JJ did you run out of coffee again?" Emily asked in her own disbelief.

"Well, there wasn't that much. And my first cup was dumped on the plane." JJ countered letting the sadness show in her voice.

"Are we there yet?" Emily asked, acting like a five year old. _Well I'm pretty sure that continuing with this coffee conversation is only going to end badly. _

"Yes, actually. Here it is. The Sleepy Deeply Hotel." JJ said as she read the sign. "Didn't know this place was so…so…"

"Can I help you ladies?" A short man asked as his shaggy hair fell over his eyes. JJ jumped from hearing someone's voice that wasn't familiar.

"Yeah. We have a room." JJ said as she looked at the man now at the clerks desk. Emily and JJ followed him into the building.

"Okay. I need your name and please make sure to keep it down. I don't judge people, but I can't say the same for everyone." The short man said as he glanced up at the two women staring at him, confused.

"We aren't together like that." Emily recovered quicker than JJ.

"Sure you aren't." The guy gave Emily a little wink before looking back at the prehistoric computer that was on the desk.

"We are F.B.I., we have seven rooms booked." Emily growled as she gave the guy an intense glare. JJ was now starting to lose the pale look she had adopted in her shock. _Poor JJ, she really didn't see that coming. _The guy looked at his records and let out a nervous cough.

"Sorry about that. Here you are." He handed them two sets of keys with room numbers on them. JJ gave him a tight nod and turned towards the elevator. Emily followed her and pressed the up button on the keypad.

"Well that was awkward." Emily said as they entered the elevator silently. _Really? Elevator music too? And JJ just really needs to get some caffeine in her blood. Maybe I should find some very high caffeinated soda._ "Are you forgetting something?" Emily hinted. When they had gotten out of the SUV, JJ was so flustered that they missed the check in that she forgot her bag in the car. Now Emily was walking around carrying both of their bags. JJ was still a little off from the clerks comment.

"OMG! I forgot my go-bag in the car." As JJ went to run out of the elevator, she caught sight of the smirk on Emily's face. Looking down she saw that the profiler was carrying both sets of bags. "Aren't I the one that's supposed to be carrying the bags?" JJ inquired.

"Come on, you really? No way. You would probably sell the content to the black market to get coffee money." Emily said with an even bigger grin at the face JJ gave her. It was a mix between insulted and amused.

"Well I'd never… Unless it was really, really good coffee. Maybe you should let me help you with that." JJ said as she went to remove the bags from Emily's shoulder. Emily turned so JJ couldn't reach the bags.

"No. Look, see, I can carry two five pound bags. Quick call 911, I might just keel over!" Emily's voice was full of sarcasm. JJ let out a little groan about her being stubborn.

"Prentiss, why do you have to be so damned stubborn. Can't you just…" Emily cut her off.

"We've been in here for a while." Emily said as she looked around. _I don't think we're moving. This isn't good._ Emily turned to look at JJ, who was still ranting about Emily's unhealthy stubbornness being her major down fall. All that crap that Emily simply tuned out.

"Don't you dare change the subject." JJ warned.

"JJ will you just be quiet. I think the elevator is stuck." Emily said as she clicked the floor button again. _We defiantly aren't moving._

"Hmm. Now that you mention it, we have been in here for a while. Press the button. No, the other button." JJ said as Emily was trying to find the right button.

"But it says 'Do Not Press' JJ; I'm pretty sure it doesn't want us to press it." Emily said like it was only obvious.

"In case of an emergency. See right there." JJ pointed those words out to Emily. Letting out a small huff, she pressed the big red button. After the button was pushed all the way in, a loud ringing started to go off.

"What the—Damn that is loud!" Emily shouted above the unbelievably loud noise. JJ covered her ears and Emily gave her an 'I told you so' look. Then JJ stuck her tongue out at Emily. "No you didn't just do that." Emily said, surprised. _JJ really does act like a child sometimes. The button said 'Do NOT Press' not, go ahead press me!_ Emily went to pull the button thing out, hoping it would stop the awful sound.

As Emily pulled the thingy, the whole knob came out. _Guess I don't know my own strength._ JJ let out a shocked yelp. Luckily the ringing stopped. JJ glared at her like she just swallowed the key. _Wow, I do know how to piss people off._

"I'll call the team." Emily said as she retreated to a corner in the small elevator. As she pulled out her phone, JJ sat down on the floor.

"Hey Garcia—Really? Uh huh… Right. Um we kind of have a problem—no no, not like that. It's just the elevator, um, stopped. What? No—Yes. She is right here. No I—Okay maybe, possibly—fine whatever. Just see if you can do anything. I know you're not a genii. Grr… Garcia—Just try to do—no, I'm not—Fine!" A very agitated Emily hung up her phone. _I can't believe she went there! Accusing me of breaking the elevator, then saying that we should just wait till the morning! JJ is going to kill me._

"So… What'd she say?" JJ questioned, hopefully. As Emily avoided her gaze, JJ's face fell as she understood the problem. "They're all asleep, aren't they."

"Yup."

"And she doesn't want to wake them?"

"Yup."

"You are really annoyed right now." This time JJ wasn't asking, she was stating an observation.

"Of course not." Yes I am! Emily thought bitterly.

"Let's try to get some sleep." JJ suggested.

"Sure." Emily slide up against the wall and started to doze. JJ did the same thing. Emily kept waking up and checking her phone. _4 A.M. Okay only a few more hours of this muscle murder._

As she dozed off again, she woke with a start as she felt the elevator shift. Then it started up again. _Yes!_ She waited until the door opened to wake JJ up, just in case it got stuck again.

"Ahhh!" JJ let out a small scream as she felt someone shake her shoulder. Before she could stop herself, she slapped the person in front of herself.

"Shit! JJ it's me! Man… That really—Ow!" Emily said in a shocked voice as she was stroking her cheek. The slap had sent her backwards and now she was laying on her back in the middle of the elevator.

"Oh my… I'm sooo sorry Em! You scared me!" JJ apologized. "Why'd you wake me up anyways?"

As Emily picked herself up, she motioned towards the open door. Emily, still being dazed grabbed the bags and stumbled out of the elevator, looking a lot like a drunken college student. "Let's go to our rooms."

"Sorry and thanks for grabbing my bag. Umm… I can take it now…" JJ spoke to the other Agent, who was already down the hall. Hurrying after Emily, JJ almost caught up to her when Emily stopped. Bumping into her back JJ fell down. "Ouch—Why'd you stop?"

"We're on the wrong floor." Emily said, crestfallen. She was looking at the room numbers. Then she kept walking.

"Where are you going?" JJ asked, she was turning around to go back.

"I'm not riding that elevator again." Emily kept walking.

"I'm sure it was just stuck; you know a onetime thing." JJ said, following Emily.

"It's not the getting stuck that pissed me off…They had freakin elevator music. I think I have grey hair now! I am sooo taking the stairs." With that she opened the door at the end of the hallway and started up the steps. JJ sighed and followed her, chuckling lightly. "I hear that!" Emily called down the stairs.

"Maybe you should stop hating elevator music!" JJ called up the stairs.

When Emily reached their floor she was extremely tired from the day's events and obstacles. JJ was a few seconds behind her. Looking around, they found their rooms and entered them. "Night or morning or whatever the hell time it is." Emily said to JJ as she closed her door.

"You too!" JJ said a little too perky after their little detour. _How does she do that? Always so damn perky, except without her coffee._ Emily shivered as a mental image of JJ from earlier invaded her thoughts.

After closing the door, Emily looked around the room. Seeing a full size bed pushed into the center of the room. She spotted what she really wanted to see… _That mini bar looks all too inviting._ Emily let out a tired sigh and opened up it up.

"Just what I need." Emily said to herself and grabbed something out of the bar. As she turned on the light, she held the ice pack gently against her check. _Man she has a killer slap. I wouldn't want to get her too mad. Oww… _Emily walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. _WTF! She backhand slapped me!_ Emily could see a long scratch across her right cheek. Little droplets of blood had been coming down her cheek for a while. _Damn her ring is sharp!_

_Maybe if this crappy hotel would pay to keep the lights on at night, then I would have known that I was bleeding. Screw this place._ Emily cleaned the cut and made another mental note. _Common Sense 101: Do NOT scare JJ at all costs. And stay out of slapping distance._

Emily sat on the bed and let out a mild groan. She got up and put the ice pack back into the mini bar and grabbed out a beer_. Who needs prescriptions when you have access to a mini bar?_ Laughing at her own joke, she looked at her phone one last time. _6:32 A.M. If I fall asleep now I can get… What 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep!_

_Tomorrow is going to suck freeze dried eggs! This case is really, really suckish. _She looked at her beer. _To life, friends, and the cure to sleep deprivation! _After chugging the can she threw it away and dragged herself to the bed.

_After all that's happened, I'm going to have some fucked up dreams. With Morgan saying he accidently proposed to Reid and all the other stuff… I think the alcohol is starting to kick in. Ruhumm… _As she drifted off into sleep, her last thought stuck with her.

_What if everyone was in a little fairy tale or a nursery rhyme? Like… _

**That was my Chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!!! I'm going to write about her dream next. Warning: may contain completely crazy and unrealistic possiblities. *wink wink* Hope you enjoyed it and I encourage you to REVIEW! Thank you to everyone who is reading. **

**Inzane: You said that already.**

**Jonezie: What are you doing here? You're in the next chapter!!!**

**Inzane: I got bored. You told me to just stay in Emily's head, but she told me to annoy you... So here I am.**

**Jonezie: Go watch T.V. **

**Inzane: There's nothing on. Can I go play outside?**

**Jonezie: *slaps forehead* We have satellite. There is always something on! And no you can't go outside.**

**Inzane: You told me I can't watch Paperview anymore. So what AM I allowed to do?**

**Jonezie: If you don't stop talking I swear I'm going to--Ow! What the hell?**

**Inzane: Shut up. I like you better when you don't talk. *throws ANOTHER book at Jonezie* **

**Jonezie: Sorry folks... I've got to go before Inzane gives me a concusion.**

**Inzane: Well you never read these books, so... Why not put them to good use?**

**Jonezie: You're not the brightest crayon in the box, Inzane. **

**Inzane: You are so CHEESY! *starts slapping Jonezie***

**Jonezie: Ow- Sorry- Ow- I got to- OW- go! Jone-Yow-Zie Ow-t**

**-Jonezie  
**


	7. Shopping is a War Zone

**Thank you all for the encouragement. I am very proud of this Chapter and I think that you guys will really enjoy it. I do NOT own Criminal Minds or any of the Stores I use. Hope that you guys like this chapter, I sure had fun expanding my imagination with this one! Hehe! Go ahead, read, and review! No pressure.-Jonezie**

Emily was drifting to sleep; somewhere between awake and asleep she started seeing things. Her mind was racing, thinking things like: _In my line of work no wonder I get nightmare_ _or Why does it feel like I'm running?_ After about ten minutes of confusion, sleep finally overcame her.

Emily opened her eyes and to her dismay she was on the floor of what looked like the biggest shopping mall she has ever seen_. I don't think I'm in Colorado anymore, but where am I?_ She got up and looked around. She was on the first floor and directly above her five stories there was a sun roof. It was bright and sunny and oddly perfect outside.

"Well, this isn't normal. Umm… HELLO?!" Emily called out, hearing her voice echo through the mall.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

"What the heck is that?" She asked herself, trying to desperately make the silence a little less weird. Squinting she saw a large figure coming towards her; the shape was about seven feet tall and looked chunky.

"Well, 'ello Madam. My name is Sir Jimmy Francis. Nice to meet you." The figure said as it approached her. It was…_hopping?_ The thing also had a strange, British type, accent. Finally it was about four feet in front of her. Looking up, Emily let out a gasp.

"You're a…a…Bunny Rabbit?" She was definitely confused. _What fucked up mall am I in? That isn't normal. Wait, did he just TALK?_ "You…talked? But how?" She gaped dumbly.

"Madam, I am quite civil thank you. Would you enjoy to accompany Theodore and I to scones and tea?" Sir Jimmy Francis asked very politely… _For a bunny rabbit, I guess._ Emily just nodded. Then shook herself a little.

"Where am I? Who is Theodore? And what type of scones are we having?" Emily's voice got higher towards the end. She rushed all the questions out causing her to pant for air at the end of her interrogation.

"Well Ms. Agent Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, Theodore is just coming off of work, and I do believe that he was looking forward to meeting you. I told him much about you Madam." He said as he took a small bow and motioned for her to follow him as he hopped down one of the hallways.

As she followed him, she couldn't help but do a double take_. He is one fat rabbit! Man how could a vegetarian get sooo fat!?!_ Then she heard him snort a little. "How do you know my name?"

"You don't remember me? We were best friends when your mother was stationed in Egypt. But Theodore doesn't know you so I have a belief that he might be a little rough around thee edges, so to speak." Jimmy said, still hopping. "And I am NOT fat, Madam. I'm just fluffy." He defended. Emily let out a shocked yelp.

"Jimmy! I've missed you!" Emily suddenly realized that Sir Jimmy Francis was her 'imaginary' friend when she was five and in Egypt for her mother's job. "I'm so sorry about the…er…comment. Um, how did you hear me?"

"I am you." He said ominously. _Well that is just freaking creepy. I love Jimmy, but that was just weird._ Emily bumped into Jimmy because she wasn't paying attention.

"Here we are. This is where Theodore works." Jimmy said hopped into the store. Emily looked up. _Build-a-Bear? Does that mean that…_

"Jimbo, it's good to see ya! Been awhile!" A huge teddy bear said gruffly. He was in army camouflage from ears to paws. He had an Assault rifle strapped across his shoulder. On his left hip he had a twelve inch knife. Emily involuntarily swallowed, making a loud gulping noise. That caught the bear's attention.

"You're that Prentiss kid ain't cha? Well I'm Teddy." He said. _Defiantly rough around the edges._ Emily looked at his face for the first time; he had a large scar going from his right ear to left of his chin, going over his eye. Teddy also had a black bandana around his forehead.

"Nice to meet you?" Emily said extremely unsure. _He looks kinda like Rambo, but scary._ Then she heard the bear let out a loud chuckle. "You can hear me too?" Emily purposed.

"You catch on quick there kido." Teddy said still chuckling. Then he went to turn to Jimmy. "Why did you bring her? It isn't safe." Teddy urged.

"How do you guys do it?" Emily was still mesmerized by their uncanny ability to read her mind. _That is just not natural. Reading people's minds is just NOT NATURAL._

Teddy looked at her amused. "Because I'm you." He let out a little huff at the face Emily gave him. "I'm your kick-ass, give 'em hell personality. And Mr. Fluffykins is your controlled, think first personality." The stuffed toy explained.

"But you're both weird…and…GUYS!" Emily was frustrated at how Teddy even thought that his explanation made sense.

"Hey, it's your fucked up mind. Not exactly like this is a treat for us, ya know." Teddy countered. "Ready for lunch?" He half asked, half told them.

"Why thank you Theodore, I already told Madam that we were going to have scones and tea. Superb!" The rabbit said excitedly.

After about an awkward half hour of small talk and cinnamon scones with herbal tea, the table got really quiet. Suddenly a 200 oz. cup of coffee ran over to the table panting.

"Teddy, Sir Jimmy; they're here. Attacking Toy's R Us; we can't hold them off for long." He rushed out, still gasping for breath.

Teddy stood up abruptly, glaring at a confused Emily. "Jimmy, see what I told you. She has to leave. Quick." Teddy told Jimmy, but never took his eyes off of Emily. Jimmy shook his head no. "What do you mean? If she stays she'll have to fight."

"I know, but this is HER fight." Jimmy said to Teddy. "If you want to help your friends, there trapped in Victoria Secret. Hurry before they get you." Jimmy told Emily. "Cof will take you there." He finished.

"Cof, I'll help them in Toy's R Us. Just get her to her friends." Teddy said as he started to leave towards, what she could only imagine was Toy's R Us.

"Yes sir. Follow me Ms." Cof started to jog into the opposite direction. Emily reached for her side arm. _Good, I still have it._ She pulled it out and looked at Cof. "Who are 'they'?" Emily demanded.

"At first we thought they were harmless. All they did was ring. Then there was a riot in the electronic aisle. They broke out and started a resistance. All they want is to cause pain. They are primitive creatures and are single-minded. But there resistance grew and now they have an army. The Cell Phone Assembly." He finished up as they approached the area that her friends were held captive.

"They're phones?" Emily stunned.

"Yes." Cof whispered. "Shh. TCPA unit three o'clock." He pointed to his right. Emily saw a group of giant cell phones. There were five in all; four of them were about six feet tall and they carried marshmallow guns. The fifth one was nine feet tall, had a touch screen—_totally cool, _firecracker gun, and an antenna spear. They had two dog like things. They were three feet tall and flip phones.

"The smaller ones are the hounds of the operation. Medium sized ones are just grunts. But the big one is the one you really got to worry about. Those are the elite unit leaders; one took out a whole pack of furbys last week." Cof shook his head in sadness. "The spear is dangerous. It has an electronic current going through it."

"How do we get to my friends?" Emily inquired. Still hiding with Cof behind a staircase.

"We'll sneak past, but I think we'll have to fight our way out." Cof said glumly.

They snuck in without a problem, Cof led her to her friends. As Emily kicked the door down, Cof watched her back. She looked in the room and saw Morgan, Garcia, JJ, and Reid tied to chairs.

"Here." Cof gave Emily a hunting knife to cut the ropes.

"Thanks." She cut through them easily enough.

"Prentiss am I glad to see you. The TCPA were really trying to get us back in the office. It is our freaking day off!" Morgan exclaimed. Emily looked to Cof for an explanation.

"The TCPA made humans slaves to their work." Cof filled in.

"Sweetheart I love you!" Garcia screamed as Emily helped her out of the chair.

"You are my northern star, Prentiss." JJ said gratefully accepting help out of the ropes. Morgan was helping Reid up and Reid couldn't help but ask.

"Is this JJ's dream? The giant coffee indicates a caffeine addiction." Reid put in. JJ rolled her eyes at him.

"Cof you ready?" Emily presented.

"Yeah. Here is the plan: You guys make a break for the exit. The ship is waiting for you on the second floor by the food court. You can't miss them." Cof said. Then he ran out to distract the phones.

"We don't have much time. Let's go." Emily told the group. Everyone nodded.

Cof's distraction worked perfectly. Everything was going according to the plan until they reached the food court. They were surrounded. The ship was filling up on gas and Emily was waiting for the others.

"Okay. You guys get into the ship. I'll handle them." Morgan was about to protest until Emily cut him off. "You need to be able to protect them in case I fail." Emily walked out to stand outside the ship. Morgan nodded firmly and escorted Garcia and JJ into the ship. _Looks a lot like a Star Wars' ship. Okay Prentiss, how the hell are you going to do this?_

She looked around and saw the Cell Phones start to create a tighter circle and creep forward. _Let's see how this works out. _Emily eyed in the direction that Cof said he'd come from. _Damn where is he?_

Then she saw Cof, Jimmy, and Teddy propel down from the floor above. As they hit the ground next to Emily, Teddy tossed her another gun. _Okay this will come in handy._

"You ready for this kid?" Teddy asked with his fuzzy eyebrows raised. "How long till the ship is ready to fly?"

"Ten minutes. Think we can hold them?" Emily asked.

"I suggest that I leave you. I'll be in the ship." Jimmy stated. "This looks like a crazy idea and I don't DO crazy, so I'll just get in the way. Anyway I'm sure that Madam and her inter Rambo can handle it, ohh right, plus Cof." He added and hopped on the ship. "Only five minutes now."

And just like that the moment changed. The phones began attacking and there was gunfire everywhere. Managing to dodge most of the marshmallow, which actually hurt mind you, Emily took cover behind a table. Teddy rushed over with her. Panting they both smiled. _It's not often that I get to kick ass, let alone with myself._ She saw Teddy grin at her thought. Then his face dropped.

"Where's Cof?" He asked a little worried.

"Don't know, last I saw him he was firing from the inside of the ship." Emily told him.

They both looked over and in fact, Cof had moved to get the shooting farther from the ship. _Cof don't do anything stupid._ Emily ran out of ammo in the gun Teddy had tossed her. She switched over to her own, smaller gun.

"We're ready. Hotch has this bird ready to fly when you guys are ready!" Rossi called outside the ship, then jumped back in as a marshmallow almost hit his special place.

About two-thirds of the TCPA army had fallen. The rest began to retreat back to their lair. Emily and Teddy made their way to the ship. Then as Teddy got in, there was a Leader standing five feet from Emily. She didn't have anywhere to go. She had her gun aimed at him and he had his firecracker gun aimed at her, they were in an old west stand-off. The phone switched his screen from the :[ sign to a :P as Emily shot her gun.

A spitball shot out of the small gun and hit the pillar next to the Leader. She got really mad as the phone played a ring tone of a man laughing hysterically. She threw her gun at the phone and hit the 0 button.

"Operator, how can I DESTROY YOU!!! MUHAHAHA, MUHAHAAA!!!" The 'operator' said with a crazy voice.

"What the Fuck?" Emily said confused.

Then the phone shot a firecracker at her, but the firecracker never made it. Cof jumped in front of her and pushed the phone down. The phone tried to get up but it had that 'turtle stuck on its back' effect going on.

"COF! No!" Emily ran up to '_him' maybe, I don't know what it is._

"You okay Cof?" She asked.

"Prentiss we must leave NOW!" Rossi called from the ship. Emily dragged Cof to the ship and Teddy helped her load him up.

"Prentiss…I need…I need…" Cof coughed (ironic I know) and tried to speak.

"Don't talk." By this time everyone was around them as Emily spoke to him, except for Hotch who had gotten the ship in the air and out of the mall.

"You did good Cof, you did good." Teddy told him.

"It is actually, you did well." Reid and Jimmy said at the same time. Each earning a glare from everyone.

"I need to give…give JJ…this." He pulled out a smaller cup from somewhere and handed it to Emily. She was confused to say the least.

"Why?" She asked.

"I'm mint with a touch of vanilla." He laughed. Then JJ went crazy and took Teddy's knife and cut a hole in his stomach. Dipping the cup into Cof she filled it with coffee. Taking a sip she brightened up.

"You're delicious! At least it wasn't a waste." She offered Garcia a taste.

"Ewww… JJ really? We need to introduce you to some CA meetings." Garcia countered.

"What's a CA meeting?" Everyone asked at the same time.

"Coffee Anonymous." Garcia said, unthinkably seriously. Everyone started laughing. This is awkward…Cof just died and we're laughing, JJ's drinking him, and we just flew out of a giant mall with a teddy bear and a rabbit.

"Emily, we're going to be late." Everyone said in the same voice. Then everything started to spin as the voice repeated. "We're going to be late."

"Teddy, Sir Jimmy Francis, Cof?" She asked.

"EMILY GET UP!!! WE CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!!!" Emily jumped out of her bed and landed on her back on the floor.

"Teddy, Sir Jimmy Francis the TCPA killed Cof!" Emily blurted out as she only saw six pairs of shoes by her face.

"Aheemmm. Agent Prentiss what is the TCPA?" It was Hotch's voice.

"Well it's The Cell Phone Assembly. How did you guys get in here?" She said in a small voice, full of embarrassment.

"The clerk gave us a key since we couldn't get you up." Rossi said. Emily looked up and saw Garcia, Morgan, and JJ fighting laughter. Reid was confused by the outburst.

"That must have been one hell of a dream Prentiss." Morgan said.

"It was YOU that woke me up!" Emily accused.

"And Garcia and JJ!" He defended.

"Hey JJ, am I still your northern star?" Emily asked and broke into laughter.

Everyone stared at her.

"I'm going to get some waffles." Rossi said and Hotch agreed and walked out with them. Reid just tagged along.

"Do I want to know?" JJ asked.

"It's your fault JJ. If you were obsessed with coffee, then I would dream of you drink my dying friend!" Emily was surprised at her own outburst.

They all started laughing. "Was your friend coffee?" Garcia asked between laughs.

"Yes." Emily said seriously.

They all got really quiet and eyed Emily with a little concern.

"He was more normal than Sir Jimmy Francis the talking rabbit, and Theodore the Commando Teddy Bear." Emily told them.

"Maybe JJ should attend some CA meetings." Garcia said.

_Wow Diaja vu. That was weird._

_Note to self, don't let clerk hand out room key._

**Chapter seven is complete. That was really fun to write and I hope it was fun to read. Tell me how you liked it with a REVIEW! I know I said that Inzane would be in this chapter, but since she kicked my ass last night I decided to cut her until next chapter. P.S.- Don't tell her. She really scares me.**

**Inzane: You know that I'm right here right?**

**Jonezie: Hi Inzane, how was the nap?**

**Inzane: I wasn't sleeping, just evesdroping on you.**

**Jonezie: Go talk to Emily or JJ.**

**Inzane: No way in hell. JJ is crazy and Emily just woke up. You better put me in the next Chapter! **

**Jonezie: Is that a threat.**

**Inzane: Yes.**

**Jonezie: :0 **

**Inzane: I went there Jonezie. Now let's say by to the readers so they don't get bored.**

**Jonezie: Hey I thought I was the author!**

**Inzane: Sure, just keep tellin yourself that.**

**Jonezie: Agh. You're unbelieveable! Bye Everybody!!!  
-Jonezie  
+ Inzane (not really) (yes) (no) (yes) (stop stealing the keyboard) (no you stop making me look like an idiot) (your doing that to ME) (Oh yeah haha bye everyone) **


	8. I'm Inzane

**I've got a fun twist in here for you guys. I'm not crazy or inzane (haha cheezy I know). This will certainly make the Colorado case a lot more interesting for Emily. If you love the crazyness I usually add and think that I should add a few more sprinkles of phsyco, then here you go. Be ready to O.D. on INZANE! Oh and before I forget... REVIEW. I love da reviews. Make me all warm and a fuzzy inside. *sighs in contentment* I do a love da fuzzy feelin. Or maybe that is just the six cans of DIET (i may add) Mountain Dew I've drank. AND IT'S ONLY 9:30 (a.m.)!!! Love da reviews and da fans. YOU ROZXZ (that is rocks in Jonezie lingo). TeHe! Here is the new Chapter! -JoNeZiE**

"Okay I'll meet you down stairs in 30 minutes." Emily said, getting off the floor. As she shooed everyone out she couldn't help thinking, _I hope that they have some cinnamon scones. They were really good in my dream. _

"_**I know right."**_

_What the hell was that?_ Emily thought, looking around the room for the unknown voice. She kept looking over her shoulder and was getting increasingly paranoid. "Hello?" She said unsure of herself.

"_**Geez, you would have thought I was like a spider crawling through your hair."**_

_There it is again. That voice, feminine definitely._ Emily got more worried as there was still no one else in her room. She smiled to herself. _If I didn't know any better I'd say I was going crazy._ She though bitterly now.

"_**Not crazy, Inzane. Hehe."**_ The mystery voice giggled like a little girl.

"Don't you mean insane? Why am I talking to myself?" Emily asked herself desperately hoping to NOT get an answer.

"_**No I mean Inzane. And you're not talking to yourself, you're talking to me. You should really loosen up Em."**_ The voice insisted.

"Who are you?" Emily asked frustrated at being told what to do by an 'invisible?' person.

"_**Do I honestly have to repeat myself? You are soo slow! I am INZANE! Like I said if you were listening to me, but noo that just be crazy."**_ Inzane ranted in Emily's head.

"Alright, alright. Just stop giving me a headache. Did I just let a figment of my imagination win in an argument?" Emily asked herself, even more confused and frighten at her own insanity issue.

"_**I am so not 'just' a figment of your imagination okay. Anyone ever teach you any manners Em? Oh, we should probably get ready for work, don't you think?"**_ Inzane echoed in her head.

"Stop talking!" Emily shouted in the empty room. I can't believe she is right…I really do have to get ready. Emily sighed and looked at her watch. Damn…Only 20 minutes left. Emily rushed to get a shower, only taking five minutes to shower, then dried her hair and was all ready with three minutes to get down to the breakfast area and meet with the team. She finally made it down for breakfast and saw that the team was almost ready to go. Grabbing a waffle she asked, "So do we get our own SUVs now?"

Rossi snorted, "What? Didn't like my driving?" Emily and Reid looked at each other for a second then shook their heads in unison.

"It's not like we don't trust you, It's just that…" Emily trailed off. _**What are you talking about!?! I sure don't want us getting into a car with that classical lunatic again. Next time we might end up in a river or worse…I'm thinking VOLCANO!**_ Inzane ranted. "Shut up." Emily whispered urgently.

"What was that Prentiss?" Rossi asked with a smirk on his face.

"Nothing…Just wondering what syrup to use on my waffles, that's all." Emily covered and actually relaxed when she heard the team laugh at her comment.

"Well anyway, now thanks to your guys little scene, we all get our own SUVs. Lucky for you." Hotch told Emily. Rolling her eyes at him for smirking with the last statement he said. JJ and Garcia walked over with a waffle in each of their hands. Morgan had a plate of four waffles drowned in syrup. Reid was drinking some orange juice and had a cup of yogurt in front of him.

"Well I'm going to head down to the station and have Garcia follow. We'll set up a bullpin area." JJ said through a mouthful of waffle. Then had Garcia follow her out of the crappy hotel. Hotch and Rossi followed them.

"We are heading out too." Rossi said.

"Hey Prentiss, here." Hotch throw a set of keys to her. _Well at least I get my own car._ _**WE get our own car.**_ Inzane corrected.

"That is going to get annoying." Emily said a little louder than she intended.

"Don't worry Prentiss; we'll go easy on the car jokes for you." Morgan feigned sympathy; the only thing giving him away was a huge grin that he wasn't trying to suppress.

"Oh…Thanks." Emily said sarcastically.

"We should head out too kid." Morgan said to Reid.

"You're right Morgan. I'll follow you there. Hey Em, glad that you're okay." Reid said as he trailed Morgan out.

"Yeah Prentiss, this time don't crash." Morgan said, winked and waved, and then he was gone.

Emily let out a huge sigh and grumbled something like, "I wasn't even driving," and "I'm so not playing Mozart anymore." _**You said it Em. Personally I don't like Classical music. It's way too boring!**_ Inzane chimed in.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" Emily said with her voice steadily rising. People looked at her with the 'crazy lady, run away' look.

"Grrr. See what you did know?" Emily asked Inzane like the imaginary character was right in front of her.

"_**Me? Seriously? Em, be smart about this. You are talking to air. How do you make that look normal? Bluetooth, dah."**_ Inzane told her in that 'it's so obvious' tone of voice.

Rolling her eyes, she took the advice and put her Bluetooth in her ear. _There happy?_

"_**Yes, I am thank you. Let's go before they get worried. We don't want them to think we're crazy right?" **_

"Why do you keep saying we? I am not keeping you." Emily said like she was talking about a stray puppy that just wouldn't leave her alone.

"_**I thought we were a team."**_ Inzane said crestfallen.

"No we aren't. I'm just waiting for the effects of those drugs they shot me up with to wear off." Emily said as she walked out of the hotel. As she reached her car, she realized that her patience was running really, really low.

"_**Hey don't get mad at me for being here. It isn't the medicine anyways."**_ Inzane stated.

"How are you sooo damned sure?" Emily said reaching a new height of annoyedness.

"_**Because I didn't show up until after the meds wore off, jack ass." **_Inzane growled angrily at Emily. Successfully giving Emily a migraine.

Emily, now in the car driving toward the police station, huffed at Inzane's behavior. "I'm so sorry. Did I hurt your wittle feewings?" Emily mocked.

"_**You do realize I can make your life a living hell, right?"**_ Inzane told her. Emily immediately got quiet.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" She yelled in the car, causing someone in another car to look her way.

"_**FINE"**_ Inzane yelled back. And then POOF! Inzane appeared in the passenger's seat.

"What the hell!" Emily shouted and swerved causing several cars to honk their obnoxious horns at her. "Your…But…how… NOT. POSS…I…BLE!!!" Emily said freaking out at the sight of the person in her front seat.

"_**You told me to get out of your head. So I did."**_ Inzane told her nonchalancely. _**"Liked me better in your head, didn't ya?"**_ Inzane chuckled at Emily's face. Emily nodded very slowly. _**"You know you should probably look at the road. There is a red light."**_ Emily turned to face the road again.

"Shit." She said, slamming on her breaks. Inzane laughed at Emily's reaction. Emily scowled and glared at Inzane. "Not funny." She said dryly.

"_**What are you talking about? It was hilarious. Ahh…You know that you better get used to seeing me around. I ain't goin' anywhere."**_ She said with a cat like grin. There was a mischievous tint in her ocean blue eyes.

"Haha. Now go back in my head and hide in a dark corner." Emily spat back at Inzane. Earning another mocking laugh.

"_**And if I don't?"**_ Inzane said seductively.

"You're kidding right? I get stuck with a pervert in my head. Just my damn luck!" Emily shouted at Inzane, earning another round of whoops and hoorahs. Emily slumped against her seat. _This is all just a bad dream and I'll wake up soon._ She willed herself to believe.

"_**I'm not in your head now, remember?"**_ Inzane said, trying to thoroughly annoy Emily, which was working.

Getting out of the car she saw Inzane poof right next to her. Jumping back at the sudden appearance act put on by her 'imaginary friend' she muttered, "If you do that in the office, I'll starve myself." Emily was hoping for that to be some kind of threat.

"_**Right and risk making yourself more delusional. I have a feeling you're not one to risk that Em."**_ Inzane said confidently. Watching Emily get her bag from the back of the car she added, _**"So I wonder what this serial killer is doing. Did they find any more bodies?"**_

"You'll know when I know. And speaking of that; It is an open investigation and I'm not at liberty to discuss it with…" Emily was saying the 'company line' so-to-speak, but was interrupted by an amused Inzane.

"_**With who? Yourself? Stop looking at this soo negative. I could help you out on the case. Some fresh eyes."**_ She said grinning at Emily.

"Why is it that when I talk like we are two different people, that makes ME look like the idiot, but when you do it you look like a genius?" Emily asked absentmindedly, still not used to being answered by someone.

"_**Because you are an idiot, but some people find that geekyness you have cute. ME on the other hand, I'm just hot and smooth. You really need to work on the whole graceful thing."**_ Inzane half-insulted her. _**"Let's just get back to the point: the serial killer. Hurry up or we'll miss the briefing."**_ Inzane urged her.

"For an inter me, you are soo pushy." Emily commented.

"_**Hey I heard that, let's goooo."**_ Inzane whined like a six year old wanting to go to the zoo.

"Whatever." Emily mumbled and walked into the station.

_New Note to Self (or Inzane, I'm not sure what part she plays in my mind): Try not to look crazy and always listen to Inzane. So far she has saved your life from running a red light._

"_**That is one of the best mental notes you've written."**_ Inzane told her.

_Second New Note to Self: Inzane can hear you speaking to yourself. Nowhere is safe…_

_Well the office is just going to be sooo Fucking fun like always. Except now I've got a crazy person that only I can see, following me around. YAY!_

_

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_

**So that starred Inzane. Now this will just show how the story is only getting crazier. Don't miss anything and give me insperation by R.E.V.I.E.W.I.N.G. Yay!!! I CAN spell reviewing! I'm so proud of myself...**

**Inzane: You should be. That is a huge accomplishment for you.**

**Jonezie: Why do you insult me ALL the time.**

**Inzane: Because you get all mad and try to look all serious. But I know that you're just afraid that I'll give you that dream where you set your pants on fire again.**

**Jonezie: Yes. That does scare me... YOU scare me. Why do I even put up with this crap?**

**Emily: Hey YOU made HER come out of MY head!!! **

**Jonezie: I didn't know you were coming. *swallows nervously***

**Emily: I came here to help Inzane kick your ass for making us 'partners'**

**Inzane: Actually I just came here to annoy you. She is here to kick your ass.**

**Jonezie: Well why does it always seem like I get rushed at the end of my author's note? This never happened until you came along Inzane.**

**Inzane: Sorry that you thought me up and now I won't leave you alone. *rolls eyes***

**Jonezie: Thanks for reading and all the Reviews that some of you were so generous to give. JoneZay Out!**

**Inzane: Hey I want to try. InZEEANE OUt! *giggles***

**Jonezie: *growls and shakes head***

**Inzane: Try it Em.**

**Emily: I don't know... Okay. EmIlEE Out! *laughs with Inzane***

**Jonezie: you stole the thing I like to say! Argh!!! *walks away and mumbles about how annoying they are***

**Inzane and Emily: Bye Everyone! Jonezie say BYE!!! *looks in direction Jonezie left from***

**Jonezie: Up Shut You!!! I'll give MY roxzxing fans another chapter soon. *Yells from room***

**Inzane and Emily: Your the author. You finish it up. *both drag Jonezie back to computer***

**Bye...**

**-Jonezie**

**Inzane+ Emily**

**p.s.: I don't own criminal minds or Emily or any of the criminal minds characters. I DO own Inzane.**

**Inzane: Do not**

**Jonezie: OMG! WTF! UP SHUT!!!**


	9. Anger Management is Not for Everyone

**Okay, I now know that adding Inzane was confusing for a lot of you. To answer some questions about her and ease some of the tension she has brought here it goes. She is like an imaginary friend that you probably had when you were younger at some point in time. Emily is not going crazy. I left the description open because I thought that you guys might want to be able to think of an image for her yourselves, but I was wrong. *sighs* Okay she is about 5'4 and is petite. Kind of like Alice from Twilight but with a redish hair, same style spiked out. Ocean blue eyes and wears simple tight blue jeans with a white T-shirt. She has a hyper enegetic attitude and loves annoying people. But is smart and even though she loses focus often, she has good insight. I made her, so she isn't from any other show. She is meant to add some randomness at the "worst" (aka funniest moments) for Emily. Since only Emily can hear her, Inzane causes Emily intense situations, as you will find out. By popular demand... I have brought back something I KNOW you guys like. Review. Even though the last ones hurt alittle, I'm a big kid I can take it.... *sniffle* JK... -Jonezie**

Walking into the office Emily saw her team already looking at crime scene photos. Hurrying because she knew she already missed the first part of the briefing. _Damn I'm so late._ Emily thought as she rushed to the room as fast as she could without making a scene.

BAM!!!

Emily fell right on her rump. Looking around for the thing she collided with she saw her 'friend' sitting on a desk, her maroon hair shoulder length hair bouncing around her head from laughing. _Why's her hair all spiked around anyway? So unprofessional. Now what did I hit this time?_

"Sorry ma'am. You must be F.B.I. Agent Prentiss. I'm the local Detective. I was getting…er…JJ is it? Any way I was getting her some coffee. She is very um, meticulous about her caffeinated beverages." He said as he looked at the ground sadly. A pool of spilled coffee was sitting by the newly empty cup.

"Crap." Emily said out loud. She saw Inzane nod, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. What did you say your name was?"

"Oh right, I'm Agent Drake Daniels. I was working the case when the Sheriff said he called in the F.B.I. I have to admit, I was surprised you made our case a priority." He said a little nervously. Offering his hand to help her up, he smiled a strange, warm smile.

_**I think he likes you. **_Inzane mused as she got off the desk and motioned for Emily to reach the door.

Emily accepted his hand and thanked him. Looking at the floor she decided to help him out. "I'll tell JJ that her coffee was a casualty of the Great Floor War of 2010. I'm sure she'll understand." Emily told him. _**No she won't! She'll eat us alive.**_ Inzane said panicked.

"Thank you. I'm sorry but she gives me this weird vibe when I told her we didn't have any vanilla." Agent Daniel cringed like it was a painful memory. Emily nodded and shivered because she has been in his position before.

"I really am late. I'll see you around Detective." Emily waved and walked over to the room the team was in. _**Finally.**_ Inzane said annoyed. _Jealous much?_ Emily countered. Opening the door she saw Rossi and Reid staring holes into the timeline they already had formed. Hotch was sitting with JJ discussing about a possible press conference. Morgan was at the table looking more thoroughly through the case files, obviously waiting for Prentiss. She winced at the loud creaking sound the door made as she opened it. All their eyes turned to her simultaneously.

"Hi, I um…I'm here." She said in a small squeaky almost voice and let out a little nervous chuckle. _Well this is damn awkward._

_**Work remember? You said that I was unprofessional? Ha!**_ Inzane said as she was already standing beside Rossi, the older agent, completely oblivious.

"Right. So this case; any new bodies found?" Emily asked the group.

"Not yet. We still have a lot to look for. We don't know where, how, or the why." Hotch told her. Emily walked over to where Morgan was sitting. Looking over his shoulder she noticed that the marks on the bodies were very effective_. Not overkill but just enough for a slow blood loss. _

_**This is most likely random. He almost looks like he is practicing for something…But what?**_ Inzane said deep in thought. Emily was thinking that is made sense. Brutal as the murders were, they just didn't scream 'You Screwed Me Over At Some Point In Time' to her. Inzane gave her a knowing look. _**Go ahead, tell them.**_ She insisted.

"Looks random." Emily deadpanned.

"Why's that?" Morgan asked.

"The kills don't have hesitation marks but the first is a little sloppier than the other. This pattern repeats. Each kill is better than the one before. He doesn't overkill. Almost a practice session for something." She was deep in thought about what Inzane said to her. Adding her own notes as she went and saw further detail to support it.

"She has a point Hotch." Rossi said warningly. They all hated it when kills were random and had nothing to do with their unsub, just maybe in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Statistically, it is possible; not preferably likely, but possible nonetheless." Reid chimed in, not taking his eyes off the time line.

"The press is going to be all over these and I can't keep them out forever…" JJ said to them.

"JJ's right. Do a press conference. If we're right, then the final target has to be around the same as these victims. Call Garcia and ask her if their computers show any indication that they may know each other. Reid, work on identifying the unsub's comfort zone. Rossi come with me, we'll talk to the first victim's family. Morgan and Prentiss, you guys have the last victim. After that go talk to the second. Let's go, we don't have much time until he hunts again." Hotch told his team and walked out the room with Rossi following casually after.

JJ rushed out to set up a conference for the five o'clock news. Morgan flipped his phone out and was calling Garcia. Reid started his map thing. Emily looked toward Inzane, who was, for once, being quiet. Emily smiled. Looking at Inzane she saw that Inzane had a summer tan and was wearing tight jeans and a white T-shirt. _If she was real, guys would be all over her._

_**I'll take that as a compliment Em.**_ Inzane laughed and spun around Reid like a five year old. Emily had this look of 'I can't believe how idiotic you are looking right now' look.

Reid started getting self-conscious from Emily's stare. "Hey, um, Emily? Is there something wrong?" He asked shifting his weight nervously.

"No, just thought I saw something." She murmured.

"Okay Prentiss, let's hit the road. I'm driving." Morgan said snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Why can't I ever drive?" Emily half-whined. _**You call me a child?**_ Inzane said with a raised eyebrow.

"Remember Cincinnati? You drove us off the road into a ditch." Morgan reminded her.

"It was icy!" Emily defended. _I am too a good driver!_ She thought bitterly.

"It was JULY! Your driving sucks spoons. Just get over it." Morgan told her. She gave him a fake pout. "I'll let you choose the radio station."

"I can't be bought Morgan." Emily said coyly.

"Fine…I'll also stop at an Ice-cream shop on our way back." He offered, hoping that that would be enough for her to let him drive.

"You're buying." Emily confirmed. He nodded to her and let out a loud exasperated sigh. Then they saw JJ run full blown back into the makeshift bullpin.

"Did anyone see Detective Daniel?" JJ asked urgently.

"No…Is everything okay JJ?" Morgan asked concerned.

"I asked him for some coffee like a half-hour ago." JJ thought for a second. "It's probably cold." She said like her puppy died.

"Oh JJ, I forgot to mention…Um your coffee didn't make it." Emily told her really fast as she tried to leave for the car in a rushed manner.

JJ cut her off at the door. "WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!!?" JJ demanded furiously. This caused Emily to go deaf and the whole station to go silent.

"Funny story really, I was trying to get to the room and kinda…um…bumped into Detective Daniels." Emily said, trying to regain some hearing.

"YOU KILLED MY COFFEE AGAIN?!?" JJ said in disbelief and anger. "I am going to make Garcia DESTROY your credit score." JJ huffed at Emily.

"JJ…" Emily started. JJ wouldn't have it. JJ placed her hand right in front of Emily's face. Emily flinched, still remembering the painful backhand JJ wields.

"Talk to the hand." JJ said like a high school prep girl.

"Bu…" Emily started.

"No." JJ stated simply.

"I'm sor…" Emily tried again.

"No." JJ repeated.

"JJ ple…"

"N…O… Prentiss. We are not talking for three hours. Got it." JJ spoke to Emily like she just ran over her hamster.

"Emily, just give up. You always have to hit the right buttons don't you?" Morgan asked as he walked out of the room.

_**He's right you know…See what happens when you try to help someone out?**_ Inzane told her.

JJ stalked over to grab some files she decided to bring and picked up the bag that had supplies in it. Emily was trying to take it all in.

"Seriously, we've seen serial killers with less anger than her. Anger management might be a good route for her to try." Emily meant to say it where only Inzane could hear her. But she forgot that she wasn't alone and didn't realize JJ had heard. Reid's face turned into a scared, terrified, horrified look. _Boy genius doesn't react to dead bodies and the world's worst, but JJ's scarier than all of them combined._ Emily thought that he was just registering the argument before hand. Not aware of how loud she spoke.

Out of nowhere she felt something hit the back of her head.

"Ouch. Who the hell…" Emily turned around and could have sworn she saw smoke come out of JJ's ears. Then she noticed Reid jump behind one of the chairs to hide. _I don't blame him._

"ANGER. MANAGEMENT?!?" JJ asked enraged at the comment.

"I…swear…" Emily's tried to talk but her mouth was suddenly very dry. Very slowly JJ opened the bag. Feeling around in the bag, Emily almost thought she got off with a warning. Then…

"Fuck!" Emily yelled. She was hit in the shoulder by a calculator. Before Emily could react, JJ seemed to empty out all the contents in the bag and simultaneously throwing them at Emily. Emily stumbled back as she was hit with a big book in the head. Falling down for the third time today she looked at the object that caused her downfall.

"Beating Caffeine Addiction for Dummies?" Emily read the title. JJ had mass murder in her eyes. Emily did the only thing she could think of in this situation.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" She screamed the same scream that they use in horror movies when the girly girl dies, and ran out of the room faster than she had ever ran before. Thinking JJ was behind her, she ran straight to the stairs, not bothering to wait for an elevator and risk being killed. Even though it was only a two story building, Emily felt like she had spent too much time on the stairs and JJ might be waiting for her at the bottom step. _Like a ghost. _

Then Emily recognized another, higher pitched scream from the second floor. _Reid? Please, don't let Reid be killed for my mistakes._ Emily prayed.

Being very cautious, Emily checked all the corners before she darted out for the main exit. She didn't even see Garcia and Morgan looking around, as she was too busy running for her life.

As she was about to pace Garcia; Garcia used her strangely fast reflexes and caught Emily's shoulder. This caused Emily's feet to slide out from under her since her torso stopped moving, but her feet were still very determined to run from the danger. _Fight or Flight response, I chose flight._

Morgan helped Emily up off the floor. And Garcia looked at her with fear, since they had heard screams radiating from the floor above, and the sound of JJ yelling.

"What happened Em?" Garcia asked her.

"JJ is determined to kill me, and not the 'I'll forgive you later' kind; I mean the actual look that we see in the eyes of murderers. I just pushed JJ over the edge!" Emily said frantically, looking all around her like JJ could be anywhere.

"Who screamed first Prentiss?" Morgan asked, referring to the fact that two screams were done.

"I did. That was the only way to distract JJ long enough to make a run for it. But I… I… I had to leave Reid behind. He was hiding behind a chair." Emily said with such guilt that Morgan could have thought Emily felt like she signed Reid's death certificate.

"Who screamed second?" Garcia asked.

"Reid." Emily said her eyes downcast. "I think JJ got him."

"Em, what happened to your forehead?" Garcia asked in shock at the purple spot that started to form at the right hairline on Emily's head and small cut.

"I told you…I think I pushed JJ over the edge." Emily was almost shaking with terror.

"What did you say?" Morgan asked accusingly.

"I spoke to myself out loud by accident. I said that she has more anger than some of the killers we bring in, or something like that." Emily gulped. "And I might have mentioned something like anger management too." Emily grimaced.

"What else?" Garcia asked, she had a feeling there was more.

"She threw a book at my head. Then I looked at it and it was Beating Caffeine Addiction for Dummies. Then I screamed and ran." She admitted.

"Emily we need to leave, NOW!" Morgan told her, seeing the urgency to get Emily to a safe place. "Garcia, check on Reid."

"Yeah. Clean that cut Emily." Garcia told the two as they were going outside to go interview the family of the third victim.

"You really did it this time Prentiss." Morgan reprimanded her while getting into the driver's side. "The anger she must have showed you, I thought only existed in some legend of a mystical mass murderer or something."

"I'm to traumatized right now Morgan." Emily said as she said in the passenger's side blankly.

_**I am too.**_Inzane said from the back seat with as little emotion as Emily had.

"Well let's just see if the family of Mia Sunburns has any incite that might help us find our killer. Focus on that in these hard times." Morgan tried to reassure her.

_You know that you're in a sucky situation if you want to talk to a family that just buried their daughter and are in the heat of the mourning stage. Better that than being beaten to death by JJ._

Inzane and Emily looked at each other and had a mutual agreement.

_Note to All: Never, under any circumstances, should you suggest anger management to JJ. If you do…You pay with your life._ They both shuddered at the thought.

_Time to meet the Sunburns… _

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**Hope this is more to your guy's liking. Next chapter is going to be on soon (maybe). But I won't wait over three days to update. Sound good? Hope so.... Okay now I know that you guys didn't really like Inzane at first but she is kinda like a comic relief character to make the Main Character irritated, annoyed, and ticked off. **

**Inzane: *puppy dog eyes* I can't believe they didn't like me! *wails and crys on Jonezie's shoulder***

**Jonezie: I really suck at these situations. Um... I'm sure that they'll uh not throw tomatoes at you. *Jonezie lamely trys to comfort***

**Inzane: *crys even harder* You really do suck!!! Worst nice person EVER! *slaps Jonezie and runs away***

**Jonezie: Hell that was awkward. Now back to the note.**

**As I said before Emily is NOT GOING CRAZY!!! I didn't mean to scare you guys. I was suprised at how quickly you respond to things you don't like, but when I ask for a simple review hardly anyone does it. Thank you to those that do. Even if some of you guy lit that warm fuzzy feeling inside on fire. I understand that it had to be done. I hope everyone likes this chapter as it explains more and has a little more interation. Jonezie Out...-Jonezie**


	10. Ninja Like Hiding in Walls

**I know that I haven't updated in a while. I'm sorry. I've been really busy with Basketball, we had games almost every day except today (sunday) and I am just really soar and tired now. My only day to update for a while though. Tomorrow we won't get back to really late so this will have to last a little while. I promise to update as soon as i can if you promise to give me some REVIEWS!!! I'm running on almost NO feedback and you know that I really think my readers ROX so don't let me down my humor lovin friends! Remember I do not own Criminal Minds or the Characters. I only own Inzane, my funny little friendly crazy character. Hope you guys like this chapter. -Jonezie**

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Driving all the way to a small town in Colorado with only about 2,000 people, they made their way to Mia Sunburn's family address. Emily was looking over a case file Morgan brought with them and read up on Mia. She was young and just about to leave for college next year. Emily still couldn't concentrate on the case and would look in the rearview mirror time-to-time to check if JJ was behind them.

"I don't think JJ would try road rage." Morgan said as he noticed Emily yet again look at the mirror.

"Yeah well, we can never be sure." Emily replied distracted.

"Do you want me to call Garcia and ask if Reid is okay?" Morgan asked, hoping to relieve some of Emily's stress.

"After the interview. We're almost here. Turn left up there." As they pulled up to an intersection Emily pointed to the left. There was a row of houses that looked like they should be in a 1950's American Lifestyle magazine. All were almost the same and were kept up very well. They saw two neighbors talking by their mailboxes and another mowing his lawn.

"Which house number?" Morgan asked as he looked out the window at the group of kids playing in the public park.

"113." Emily said equally distracted. _It all looks so peaceful. Like this place hasn't been touched by time. It is almost disgusting normal._

_**Totally. Look over there; they have an ice cream truck and everything.**_ Inzane told her, nodding in the direction of the big truck with a giant vanilla cone on it.

"Hello Prentiss? We're here." Morgan stated as he waved a hand in front of Emily's face.

"Oh…" Emily snapped back into reality. "Right, let's go." She recovered and opened the car door quickly. Morgan followed suit and met her at the front door.

Morgan knocked on the door and they waited on the stoop. It was a nice two story house. Not too big, but big enough to have a family of four. That was what their victim had, a mother, father, and a younger brother. As Morgan was about to knock again someone opened the door.

"Can I help you?" A 17 year old boy opened the door and looked at them irritated. "Well? Are you going to answer, or just stand there?"

"I am Special Agent Prentiss and this is Special Agent Morgan, we're F.B.I. We are here about your sister. Is your mom or dad home?" Emily asked trying to calm the tension among them. The boy's shoulders visibly relaxed.

"Yes. Come right in. I'm sorry, it's just that…" He started to say but stopped as his father walked to the door.

"Who's here?" The man asked with the same irritation the boy showed.

"It's okay, they're with the F.B.I." The son spoke up quickly.

"Yes sir, we are going to solve your daughter's murder." Morgan told Mr. Sunburns.

"Come in then." Mr. Sunburns offered as he held the door open wider. "My wife is heartbroken and it seems like the whole population wants to "help" us through this "hard time" as they call it. All they do is make it worse!" Mr. Sunburns growled with through gritted teeth.

"We understand Mr. Sunburns, in small towns people can be a little over baring." Emily told him.

"Please just call me Jeff. Oh, this is my son Randy." Jeff told them.

"I am Agent Morgan and this is Agent Prentiss." Morgan told him realizing he hadn't told the father their names.

"My wife is in our bedroom. She hasn't…She's just not doing okay." Jeff grimaced and was staring at a picture up on the wall of the four of them together. They were all smiling and sitting at the base of a rock.

"It looks like you were all happy." Emily stated mainly to herself.

"Yeah… That seems like a long time ago…" Randy trailed off after his voice kept cracking. He had tears in his eyes. He offered them a seat on the cream colored couch in the living room. There was a modest looking fireplace against one of the walls.

"Anyone want anything to drink?" The father asked half-heartedly, more out of courtesy.

"No thank you. I would like to see Mia's room, if that's okay?" Emily asked as she noticed the father close his eyes at the question. Almost willing it away.

"I'll take you there." Randy said as he got up off the chair he was sitting in and started walking down a hallway.

"Thank you Randy." Emily said gratefully as they reached the room. It was painted in a purple and had flowers painted on the ceiling. Noticing Randy fidget she decided to tell him to go back to Morgan and his father. "Hey Randy, I think I'm okay here alone. Why don't you go back to the living room."

"No. I have to do this. Neither of them can even open the door to her room." He said with so much pain that it made Emily's heart ache for him. "I wasn't the best brother, I annoyed her a lot; took her diary, car keys, stuff like that."

"Can you tell me where she kept her diary?" Emily asked cautiously, not sure how he would react.

"UhHmm." His answer was emotionless and had no real words. He went over to the bed and pulled out a small pink leather book from underneath the mattress. "Here"

"Thanks." Emily took the book and began to read through it quickly. Mia apparently had a crush on some David Rummerd and was very excited for a movie that was coming to the local theater next week.

_**Poor girl. Didn't know that she wasn't going to have time to see it.**_ Inzane put in as she stood beside Emily.

_You've been quiet._ Emily observed.

_**Look here. Her computer will definitely have some info on her life, but this cameral and video recorder will probably give you more insight. She can't really edit out raw footage.**_ Inzane was completely engrossed in her work.

_It says here that she met a cute guy that insisted on driving her home. But this is the real clue: she rejected him and told him that she only lived a block away and he said 'Never too far for something to happen to a pretty girl like you' right to her face._ Emily conversed with Inzane mentally, fully aware that anymore verbal conversation would lead to more bad situations.

_**Good, let's start with that. **_Inzane agreed with Emily.

Just then she noticed that the boy had gone. _I don't blame him. It must be too tough to bare._ She heard some loud sniffling and looked towards the currently occupied doorway.

"Mrs. Sunburns?" She asked with a slight hint of guilt at being caught in the room of the mother's recently deceased daughter.

"W-who are y-you?" She asked with a tear stricken face. Emily shifted from her left foot to her right.

_**Well aren't you going to tell her? **_Inzane said gruffly. Not at all happy with Emily's child like behavior. That kicked Emily out of her rut.

"Mrs. Sunburns, I'm Emily Prentiss. I'm an F.B.I. Agent." She told the grieving mother.

"She was such a sweet girl. Who could possibly want to hurt her?" She asked Emily, expecting an answer. After about 10 seconds, Emily was surprised to find that the mother had latched her arms around her.

Gasping for air, Emily couldn't really think of what to tell her. Her ribs were killing her from her mad run from JJ and now they felt like they were on fire while still in her body.

"Umm… Mrs. Sunburns…C-can y-you lll-et…" Emily tried desperately to get out, but she just didn't have the heart.

"You remind me so much of her Emily. You two are so much alike. She got embarrassed when I would hug her too!" The mother sobbed into Emily's shoulder. Hearing loud footsteps, she saw Jeff, Randy, and Morgan in the door.

"Linda honey, please let go of Agent Prentiss." Jeff insisted as he tried to pull her off of Emily. It only caused Linda to tighten her grip.

_**Didn't take you for the emotional type Em. I guess I still have a lot to learn about you.**_ Inzane cooed at the scene. It did look rather corny and a little ironic that Emily was the one to get caught up in the awkward situation. The only one that was probably worse than her was Reid.

"Mom she isn't Mia." Randy said quietly in Linda's ear. This seemed to snap Linda out of it. Then Linda released Emily and slapped Emily right upside the head.

"Ow." Was all Emily said. _I am really getting tired of people hitting me!_

_**Hahaha. Why? It is funny!**_ Inzane cheered from the corner.

"Maybe we could come back another time." Morgan told them as Mr. Sunburns held Linda in a tight hug. Randy nodded.

"I think that would be best. I'll walk you to the door." He said rather pushly. He wasn't happy at his mother's outburst. "She just really misses Mia. I'm sorry." He told Emily as they reached the front door.

"Thank you for letting us talk for a while. Do you think it is okay if we take this back with us? It can really help." Emily asked him, holding up the diary. Randy looked over his shoulder a little nervous.

"Yeah. Go ahead." He said turning back to them. Then closing the door as they left.

"Well that was fun." Morgan said absentmindedly.

"Yeah, well YOU weren't the one that had your oxygen supply cut off." Emily reminded him.

"Hey! I think JJ could do much worse." Morgan countered.

_**He is right AGAIN. You should really start listening to him.**_ Inzane commanded her.

"Whose side are you on?" Emily asked both of them.

"JJ's for sure. Sorry Prentiss, but you really need to work on your people skills." Morgan shook his head slightly.

"Just get in the damn car…" Emily grumbled as the painful truth was revealed.

"Ready to go back?" Morgan's voice had a hint of humor.

"No."

"Too bad." He said with a lot more humor than before. Then he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. Emily looked at him suspiciously. "Hey Cyber Queen, how are you?" "Yeah, she is still a little shocked." "Umhmm. Yup. Okay." "So is he okay?" "Good. Thanks. Talk when we get back." Then he hung up. There were a few minutes of absolute silence in the SUV. Emily saw the same kids in the park and the same ice cream man and even the same neighbors seemed to be still gossiping by their mailboxes.

"So?" She finally broke the silence.

"He's fine. He was just scared. Seems like you really through JJ off with your little distraction. Garcia said that she was worried that she hurt you." Morgan smirked at the look of disbelief on Emily's face.

"She can't hurt ME!" Emily defended. She was shocked by the statement that JJ actually thought that Emily could go down that easily.

"That is what Garcia told her. Seems like she knows you pretty well, huh?" Morgan laughed at some inside joke that him and Garcia must have had over the phone. "With any luck, it seems like you can tell JJ that herself. Since we are back and all."

"Already." Emily's voice was immediately guarded as she realized that she was in 'enemy territory' so-to-speak.

"Yup. Come on." Morgan said as he got out of the car, not even waiting for her.

Emily got out slowly and walked quickly to the entrance. She scanned the room before entering. She saw Garcia and Morgan already discussing something, that she was sure wasn't even case related. She walked over to them silently, ready to run at any sign of danger. As she got to the desk she scanned the room again.

"You know she isn't down here yet." Morgan told her, slightly annoyed by her over paranoia.

"She could be anywhere Morgan, at anytime." Emily said apprehensively. "She could even be in the walls. She is like a freakin' Ninja or something." Emily told him as they both started looking the wall, right next to them, up and down for any signs of JJ.

"Prentiss, I really don't think that JJ is in the…" He was interrupted.

"Morgan? Emily?" JJ's voice sounded. Emily and Morgan stared at the walled still. Then it spoke again. "Hello? Can you hear me?" This caused Emily to jump back.

"Ohh NO! I told you Morgan!" Emily glared at him. Morgan tried to recover but was not doing very well.

"But…That's…Not…Possible… Is it?" Morgan asked out loud slowly. Then he snapped back to reality. "JJ, don't worry! We'll get you out of there." He said as he started to bang on the walls. Everyone in the station looked at them like they were crazy.

"NINJA! I knew IT!" Emily whispered so only Morgan and Garcia could hear it.

"This isn't the time for a victory dance Prentiss! Garcia, why aren't you doing anything?" Morgan asked, he was still facing the wall like Emily.

"I really don't think that I am a ninja. But if you want to believe that, well who am I to stop you?" JJ's voice came again. This time Garcia's eccentric laughter broke the chaos. Emily and Morgan both looked back at her at the same time.

Standing about five feet away from Emily, JJ tilted her head to the side and smirked. "I am one damn good ninja huh? Got in and out of a wall without two highly trained F.B.I. Agents noticing aye?" Morgan and Emily got red with humiliation.

"I uh yah huh." Emily sputtered mortified. She couldn't make real words, so decided to go with the basic sounds that came out of her mouth. This only increased JJ and Garcia's laughter (by this time JJ was laughing sooo hard that she thought she was about to wet herself).

_**You got played. Bad.**_ Inzane stated. She was becoming less and less impressed with Emily's common sense for reason because there really wasn't much there.

"I need to…uh…get this information up to Hotch." Morgan said and scurried away.

"Yeah… Um…Me too…" Emily started to follow Morgan but was yanked back. Turning around she saw that JJ was the one who had done it. "I really need to go." Emily told her.

"What's the rush? Is there really anywhere more important than right here?" JJ said, her eyes turning into a dark navy.

"Maybe a hurricane, dessert, coma, or even buried in a coffin alive sounds better than this." Emily pointed out senselessly.

"I'm sorry." JJ blurted out. She felt bad for making her friend feel so terrified. But this only caused Emily to give her a suspicious look, like it was some sort of trap or something.

"For?" Emily was genuinely confused. _Is she apologizing for the future pain she will inflict?_

_**I hope not. We already look like we got in a fight with a bus or two.**_ Inzane gulped.

"I'm sorry for hitting you with the calculator, and pencil, and book, and stapler, and…"

"You hit me with a stapler?" Emily wondered out loud.

"Were you paying any attention when I was on loading all that stuff on you? Did you even realize that we were in a fight or are you just THAT dense?" JJ asked flabbergasted.

"Well…I paid attention to the parts that really hurt, most of them at least." Emily offered up meekly. To be honest she didn't even realize that they were in an argument until after pain was caused.

"OMG. Garcia…" JJ whined. "Do I really need to? I felt guilty for hurting her, but come on… Look at what I have to work with here." JJ said as she motioned to Emily.

"HELLO? I am right here." Emily told them.

"Well you can't blame her. She just isn't very observant." Garcia told JJ, both of them were still ignoring Emily.

"What? I am too observant!" Emily was trying to get their attention, but it was in vain.

"I know, but she could at least pay attention to fights." JJ was still talking to Garcia.

Looks to me like they kinda forgot about us. You looked like an idiot you know…Wait let me change that. You still do look like an idiot, standing there all confused and whatnot. Inzane informed her.

"I sooo don't need this crap." Emily walked over to the elevator. As she pressed on of the keys, the door closed.

Standing there she started hitting her head against the wall. "All music in elevators should be OUTLAWED!" Emily cursed. With a ding she walked out of the elevator.

Looking around the room, confused she saw JJ in front of her. "You are a ninja." Emily commented under her breath. "How did you get here so fast?" She was still talking to herself pretty much, but JJ heard her the whole time.

"Well I have the simple explanation and the highly elaborate one. Which would you like?" JJ asked. "The elaborate one being: I trained as a ninja most of my life and now I was told that I must stalk you every day, forever! The simple one is: You are still on the first floor."

"I really need to consider a change in career. This who paying attention thing, seems really difficult." Emily told herself sarcastically.

_**Great. Now you are contemplating on your career choices. Great job. Maybe a decade or so too late though.**_ Inzane told her, accompanied with an outlandish grin.

"Okay well I'm going to go UP now." Emily stated it as a fact as she turned on her heel and SMACK! She didn't fall, but merely stayed plastered to the CLOSED elevator doors. "Ish ucksh." Emily's muffled voiced said.

"Er…" JJ was giggling. "What was that?"

Stepping back, Emily shook her head and restated herself. "I said: This sucks!" Then she started walking away.

"Where are you going?" JJ yelled after her.

"I'm going to take the damn stairs." Emily grumbled loudly and opened the door to the stairs.

_**Well now that was fun.**_ Inzane teased.

_Shut up. Note to Self: To help limit face injuries, always check that doors are open before attempting to walk through them. _Emily noted.

_**Good job there. You want a gold star for that?**_ Inzane's voice was getting even more teasingly.

_Second Note of the Moment: Elevators suck. Period. No debate. Always use stairs. _

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**There it is! Hope you liked it! And now that I've explained Inzane and the little thing I have going on here I hope you guys like it more! I was kinda getting worried that you all might start rioting in the street for that stunt. All well, I guess I have to crash and burn sometimes. All is fair in comidy and poetry. Don't ask me how I came up with that. Just kinda POP and it was there. So I hope to get the next chapter to you guys as soon as possible (that is ASAP for short) and if it seems like i forgot or something... Give me a little kick and send me a message or somethin. I will probably get you the chapter with in the day if you do that. Me feelin all bad 'n such. So there you go!!! -Jonezie**


	11. Crazy Flowers Ends the Day

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**This is the last chapter! Sorry about the slow update, I just had no Idea how to end it... until a stroke of insperation... Hope you all enjoy! I'm going to start making another comedy about Emily as well. Hope you all like this closing chapter! This is Jonezie for the last time this story!  
-Jonezie**

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Emily started to walk up the stairs. She took her time considering she was exhausted from the whole fight, causing self injuries, and making herself look like a moron. As she finally reached the floor to the conference room, she opened the stairs door. Looking around she saw that Morgan had just finished talking to Hotch.

_**Wow, your cover worked really well. I mean it looks like Morgan was totally lost when he was telling Hotch what happened at Mia's.**_ Inzane stated sarcastically.

_Shut up._ Emily mentally told Inzane. She was getting tired of having that annoying big shot in her head_. Shouldn't I get some check up or something? I know it is bad when you have a person in your head that not only answers you, but makes jokes about you._

_**Not my fault you are crazy…**_ Inzane rolled her eyes at Emily.

Emily walked over to conference room and sat down. Looking at the files, she started thinking about the suspects.

_So this guy is slashing throats. Must want to make sure that when he meets this girl, she will defiantly be dead. But why now just over kill? Why does he want to be so neat and clean?_ Emily thought hard, she turned questioning eyes to Inzane.

_**Were all these girls around the same age?**_ Inzane asked, thinking of something.

_Yeah…_ Emily tried to see where this could be going, but was lost.

Mia was just about to go to college right? She must have just graduated high school. This being a small town and all, they must have gone to the same school. Inzane educated her with an excited glint in her eye.

_We should go check out the principle. I'll tell Hotch. Meet you in the car?_ Emily asked Inzane. This caused Inzane to give her a questioning look.

_**How hard did that book hit you? **_

_Why?_ Emily asked confused.

_**Where the hell would I go? I thought you understood that I'm a figment of your imagination. In that case, I am NOT real!**_ Inzane told her, truly shocked by the stupidity of the original question.

"Humph… Whatever…" Emily mumbled and looked around the station for Hotch. After seeing him talking to the Detective she ran into earlier, she walked over.

"Hey Hotch; I'm going to go get some background from the principle. Okay?" Emily requested.

"Why?" Hotch was genuinely confused, he had just seen the profiler walk into the conference room 10 minutes ago.

"They all just graduated." She enlightened him.

"Fine. But it is 7:30 at NIGHT; he isn't going to be at school." He reminded her, hoping she would wait till morning. No Dice though.

"Looks like he is just going to have to spend a nice evening with me then." She sardonically stated.

"Prentiss take…" Hotch was caught off as Emily had already started down the stairs. "Why didn't you ride the elevator again?" He asked the dead air.

Emily rushed down the steps. She saw Garcia and flagged her down. Inzane had an eyebrow raised at the sight of the profiler panting slightly.

_**Getting old?**_ Inzane joshed. Emily gave her a hard glare. Garcia turned in the direction of the glare, expecting to see a person.

"Hey Em, that plant isn't going to magically grow freakishly large leaves and destroy the station." Garcia told Emily, like it was some big secret.

"Ha…Ha…" Emily caught her breath real quick. "I need all the info you can get on the principle of the high school. Okay?" Emily asked Garcia, trying to stay on business.

"Yeah sure, shouldn't be hard."Garcia told her. Then Garcia gave Em a huge smile and flicked Emily's nose.

"What the hell?" Emily shook her head like a puppy that just had a bug land on its nose.

"Nothin' just seeing how you would react." Garcia laughed slightly. "Okay his name is Ewbert Pukesac. Wow that would suck." Garcia giggled.

"What?" Emily didn't realize the joke.

"His name, Ew bert and Puke sac. That would really suck in high school." Garcia enlightened Emily.

"Ohhh… Yeah that would suck." Emily saw Inzane give a simper.

_**Well, well… Looks like the Mr. Pukesac could have motive… I would get really pissed if I had that name too.**_ Inzane suggested to Emily.

"Okay Em, this is his address." Garcia gave Emily pink sticky note, but instead of handing it nicely over to Emily, she stuck it right on Emily's forehead. "Don't lose it. Got it?"

"Yeah… Yeah… Whatever." Emily grumbled and took the note off her head. "Oh cool, candy!" Emily grabbed a sucker and started to walk out of the station.

"EMILY PRENTISS!!!" Emily turned around to see Garcia pointing at a pink thing stuck to the side of the candy bowl.

"Argh…" Emily trudged back across the station, grabbed the note and smiled at Garcia. "Yes Mother." She growled mockingly.

As Emily made her way out of the station for a second time, she looked over the address. "Great this'll take a while." She grumbled to herself.

_**Well aren't you Grumpy Wumpy.**_ Inzane smiled into her statement. _**I think wittle Emwily needs a hug!**_ Inzane cheered and danced around Emily.

_You suck! And shut up!_ Emily's mental voice raised a few pitches with embarrassment_. And I don't need a hug._ She whispered in her head to Inzane.

As Emily started the car, Inzane appeared in the passenger's seat. As they were driving, Emily resolved to imagine a muzzle on Inzane the next time. Inzane constantly asked "Are we there yet" every 30 seconds. That wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't so distracting. Not only would she ask, but she kicked her feet up on the dashboard and started singing to the radio.

_**Put the window down… Are we there yet… I don't like this station, change it… Are we there yet… Can we stop somewhere?... Are we-**_ Inzane was cut off in mid sentence.

Emily had put the window down, switched the radio, but having to stop somewhere for an annoying make believe person! That was too far.

"SHUT UP! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOO!!!" Emily yelled and hit her steering wheel. "WE AREN'T THERE YET! AND WE WON'T EVER GET THERE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!" Emily screamed like a crazy person. People in the cars next to her and generally around her, looked at her. Looking down at her speedometer, she noticed she was speeding. "Look what you caused me to do." Emily blamed the slightly frightened Inzane.

Police sirens blared behind her.

"Damn… You've got to be kidding me!" Emily grunted. She was in a state of awe at how bad her luck was.

Emily slowed to a stop on the shoulder. The police officer walked up to the window. She already had it rolled down. He was older and had a few too many Tony's Donut Tuesday Specials if you know what I mean. He tapped the car as he walked up to the driver's side window.

"Excuse me ma'am, have you been drinking tonight?" He asked her. She was appalled by his accusation.

_**Haha! Your driving must really really suck Prentiss!**_ Inzane laughed in the passenger's seat.

"Shut up…" Emily mumbled.

"Sorry ma'am?" The cop was a little angrier now that he thought she was bossing him around.

"No I'm sorry. I'm with the F.B.I. and I am on a chase right now. A serial killer might be out hurting another innocent girl right now!" Emily made it as dramatic as she could. He looked at her.

"Do I look stupid? … don't answer that." He growled as she was about to add something. "Step out of the car ma'am." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm a…" She was interrupted by the cop.

"I've heard that one a thousand times. Out of the car." He snarled at her. She reached in her coat and grabbed her badge.

"See look… Me F.B.I. I come to help stop bad man. Me going to bad man's house." Emily spoke really slowly for him. This infuriated him.

"Miss…" He looked at the badge. "Prentiss… If that is your real name, why were you speeding then?"

"I'm going to interview a guy that I think is the suspect." She told him, eyes rolling. "What are you going to give me? A pop quiz?"

"Yes…" He told her. "You know what, I don't have time for this." She rolled her window up. He stood there yelling at her.

"Open that window up! Hey I'm talking to you! Don't you dare drive away from me! Dammit, she actually drove away…" His loud angry voice had died down into a pathetic, sulking voice.

"Hey Bob! Ready to go to Donut Dave's?" An even 'jollier' man yelled from the passenger's seat of the police car.

"Yeah! You're paying though." Bob called back. The other man let out a groan from either heart burn, or a stroke of some sort.

Emily drove to the principle's house. As she pulled into the driveway she noticed two cars. _Good, his wife will be home too!_

_**Be careful. You don't know what is going on in there. Inzane warned.**_

Emily cautiously walked up to the front door and knocked. When she reached the door, she heard strange sounds coming from the house.

"Mr. Pukesac?" Even louder sounds came from the house. She called Morgan and he told her that he was nearby and would only be a minute to get down the street. She didn't wait though. "Mr. Pukesac, I'm coming in!" She checked to see if the door was locked. It wasn't

Emily rushed toward the sounds. As she came up to a room on the right side of a hall, she heard Morgan ask where she was. She didn't answer him… Too close to the source of the sounds. They were muffled. She tried the door lightly… _No dice_. Taking a step back she kicked the door open.

SLAM!

The door flew open and Emily rushed in. She was prepared to take fire and return any fire needed. But that wasn't the case. Emily's face turned red as she saw the scene in front of her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Pukesac?" Her voice was really squeaky.

"Uhum… I can ah… explain…" Emily noticed the man without a shirt was Mr. Pukesac. "Daisy, maybe you should go…" He suggested. Daisy saw Emily and freaked out. This caused both Mr. Pukesac and Emily to simply stare at Daisy. She jumped off the bed, half dressed (shirt unbuttoned and only in underwear), freaking out. She ran around the room and grabbed a fire extinguisher that was beside the nightstand. Emily just stared at her.

"Daisy? What do you think your do-" There was a white blast that hit Emily. "Fu-" BLAST!!!

"Daisy what are you doing?" Mr. Pukesac asked. Morgan heard the commotion and was trotting up the stairs. Emily was trying to wrestle the extinguisher away from the hysterical person. It took a couple seconds… but Emily noticed something.

"You're a guy?" Emily froze and asked "daisy"… _If that was her real name_.

"So what!" He yelled and Mr. Pukesac gagged out loud. This caused Emily and Daisy to quit fighting over the extinguisher.

"Well that was rude!" Emily told him.

"She… He… You have no idea how weird it is to learn you were just kissing a DUDE!" Mr. Pukesac challenged.

"What did you not realize the Adam's apple?" Emily asked him, obviously. Daisy slapped Mr. Pukesac across the face. Morgan was finally in the door way.

"And to think I practiced killing all the women, so I could get rid of your wife!" Daisy seemed thoroughly offended. Morgan stood there staring at whiter Agent Prentiss.

"Did we just get a confession?" Emily asked Morgan.

"I think so Snow White." He giggled. She growled at him. Then they heard a scream.

Daisy was freaking out again. She ran around the room and Morgan and Emily were both trying to catch her. Morgan caught her once, but she licked him and he let go. _Childish…_

Emily had chased her down the stairs and they were in the kitchen. Daisy was doing some weird freaky battle cry and Emily looked all confused.

_**You look like a total moron!**_ Inzane giggled from the countertop she was lounging on.

Then Daisy picked up random stuff from the table and counters and was throwing it at Emily. First it was a candle, then a knife (very bad), then some cookie sheet. Emily finally maneuvered around and got close enough to hand-cuff Daisy to a cupboard door. There was an odd moment of silence as Daisy realized she was cuffed.

Daisy became very calm and opened up the cupboard door. Emily figured he was just looking to see if he could wiggle out of it somehow. Emily sighed and started to walk over to him.

"They won't break. They are made specifically to keep you restrained." Emily told him. He reached into the cupboard and as Emily got close enough…

BANG!!!

Emily hit the floor holding the side of her head. Daisy stood there looking at the fallen agent, one hand cuffed to the cupboard door, other hand holding a 12 in. round frying pan. Daisy then looked at the cuff and started hitting the door part with the frying pan as well.

Emily was on the ground, groaning in pain. "That bitch… she… awww… owww…." Emily was rolling around, trying to desperately sooth the pain in her head. The loud obnoxious banging of the crazy person hitting a door with a frying pan wasn't helping her head ache either.

"Prentiss? Where are you?" Emily recognized Morgan's voice.

"ARGGHH" She moaned loudly, still on the floor.

"Shit." Morgan ran over to the crazy person and cuffed him behind his back, disarming the frying pan. "Hey you okay Prentiss?"

"My head… erg…"

_**Well wasn't that a bitch? Hmm… I don't know… I rather enjoyed watching you get your asses kicked by some crazy freaking out person.**_ Inzane was still on the counter chuckling.

_This case has been a pain in my ASS!!! At least it is finally over!!!_

_**Maybe Your luck will turn around now…**_ Inzane suggested as Morgan helped Emily off the floor.

As soon as Emily stood up, Daisy head butted her in the forehead. Prentiss swayed and lost a little balance, but it looked like she was going to make it… At least until Daisy broke the cupboard door and started chasing Emily around the kitchen.

It looked hilarious, Morgan was chasing after Daisy, who had her hands cuffed behind her back with a cupboard door attached to it, and Daisy was chasing Emily around. They were all surprised at how fast Daisy could run…

_Damn my luck sucks…_

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**Don't cry. All good things must come to an end! I hope that in honor of the last chapter, you will all REVIEW! I would really like to know what your thoughts on the story were! I don't own criminal minds. There you go! Hope you enjoyed this story!  
-Jonezie**

Inzane


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